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Reasons Why Dawn Is Not Fun
The Rob & Arnie "Official" List of Why Dawn is the LEAST Fun Person on Earth
1. Dawn likes to exercise while she's on vacation.
101. Dawn's gasps in sheer joy ("uuuhhhhhh") when she hears that "Kayak Season" has started.
201. Dawn cheers "yaaay health!!" when Rob does the health feature.
301. Dawn worries about how unattractive people's feet are who walk all the way across the country to lose weight.
401. Dawn thinks it would be totally awesome to own a candle store.
501. Dawn wakes up at 3:30am on Sunday mornings to watch depressing movies.
600. Dawn knows that Chuck Norris is... "a Dodge guy."
601. Dawn daydreams about the Geico cavemen.
701. Dawn proclaims that kids that like to read will be rich like Bill Gates.
800. Dawn thinks it is awesome that she has 800 Reasons Why She's Not Fun!!!
801. Dawn Googles and memorizes the day light savings schedule.
900. Dawn looooooves road signs.
901. Dawn loves to use the word "kitchy".
1001. Dawn brags about knowing where bocce ball courts are located in East Sacramento, CA.
1100. Dawn thinks being called Senator John Edwards is a compliment.
1101. Dawn has a Thanksgiving family tradition of watching "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."
1200. Dawn brags about her husband being a master at Skee Ball.
1201. Dawn proclaims that "being a virgin is cool."
1300. Dawn loooves to look underneath strangers toilets.
1301. Dawn has officially announced the title of her auto-biography, "I Am Someone To Me"
1401. Dawn is a communist.
1501. Dawn shouts "woo hoo!" at the airport when her flight is delayed.
1600. Dawn likes to research pigs.
1601. Dawn wants learn how to knit so she can make sweaters for hens.
1701. Dawn is afraid of ferris wheels.
1800. Dawn wants to name her children after soap operas.
1801. Dawn invites people to her funeral.
1900. Dawn thinks that Detroit is a foreign country.
1901. Dawn goes to Target when she has sore feet.
2000. Dawn wants to know what kind of bird is on the Twitter logo.
2001. Dawn says cauliflower is ingenious.
2100. Dawn describes serious burn injuries as "nice."
2101. Dawn enjoys it when couples have problems in their sex life.
2200. Dawn says that it's good and girly to not be self sufficient.
2201. Dawn says screw your microphone on.
2300. Dawn says that you should let all military personnel know when you're pregnant.
2301. Dawn says that girls are afraid of candy apples.
2401. Dawn says dropping out of school is "neat."
2501. Dawn thinks that when you buy a ticket for a football game, you have to open your mouth and say, "ahhhhhh!"
2600. Dawn thinks football players scratch and sniff each other in the locker room.
2601. Dawn thinks the Village People are orchestra conductors.
2700. Dawn thinks broccoli is inspirational.
2701. Dawn thinks the American flag is sewn with wheat.
2800. Dawn believes there should be no smoking in smoking sections.
2801. Dawn wants to stand on the side of the road and wave at an old man driving a Volvo.
2900. Dawn bribes adoption agencies with farm fresh eggs.
2901. Dawn thinks afterbirth is called "the abdomen thing."
3000. Dawn goes to church on Sundays to get a pedicure.
3001. Dawn describes people in a bad mood as being "sarlee."