June 23rd, 2014 -- Fait Accompli
The French haven’t contributed much to the world of note, other than the Statue of Liberty and those awesome fries. Most of their language is stupid (says the kid who got a C- in high school French struggling his way through his only foreign language class), but a few of their expressions should now hold special meaning for Americans, most notably, Fait Accompli, meaning as follows: A thing that has already happened or been decided…leaving people with no option but to accept.
Fait Accompli should be America’s new national motto, for it is exactly how we now live. A small group of people who are aggrieved, offended, guilty, or some combination thereof, decide that something must change, and before the alleged “national debate” even begins, the die has been cast on the ultimate outcome. Whether by hook or by crook, law or court, bullying or intimidation, whatever it is shall come to pass. To whit:
o Anyone who thought that the issue of Gay Marriage was far from settled in 2008 when the nation’s most liberal state, California voted for Prop 8 and, therefore, against legal gay marriage, was simply not paying attention. Gay marriage proponents had already decided the various things they would do to insure that, regardless of what voters said, it would be the gay way or the highway. Those of us who said in 2008 to the anti-gay-marriage crowd, “don’t celebrate, in five years gay marriage will essentially be the law of the land,” were told we were alarmists, extremists, and pessimists. Today there’s a new name we’re called: right. Or correct, I prefer correct. Those of us who are in favor of legalized gay marriage know that this is and was the wrong way to implement the proper policy, but there’s no place for us in the debate. Today’s America demands only that the ends always justify the means. No matter what it takes, no matter how many lies must be told, no matter how many careers or people must be ruined, we will get our way. Pathetic and terrifying doesn’t begin to describe the state of affairs in today’s American discourse.
o There are countless other examples, of course, of how easy it was to see what was coming, but it’s always more fun to look ahead and be told what an extremist, alarmist and pessimist I’m being, so let’s make sure we all understand that within 3 years, college athletes will be getting paid for playing sports. Whether you agree or not is irrelevant, for it is already a fait accompli. The argument has been made, the dissenters (like me) shoved aside, and the predetermined outcome decided. The only argument left is how they’ll do it without literally destroying the various institutions since loud cries of discrimination will be heard immediately and everyone will be reminded of a horrific law called “Title IX (that’s Title Nine for those of you educated in public schools) and the yelling will only get louder from there.
o And then there’s the “R” word. No, not retard. Apparently, we’ve decided to shove aside those with “Down’s Syndrome,” and instead give the label of “R” word to those dastardly Washington football players in the NFL. Certainly everyone sees clearly that the name “Redskins” will be stricken entirely from the NFL in less than three years, perhaps much sooner. It no longer takes a visionary to see that, just an idiot to not see it. The more obvious Fait Accompli, is what comes next, for it must, and it has been decided. Once Redskins is eliminated for being racist (and it will), all other Native American names and Mascots WILL be attacked and eliminated within the next few years. On Sunday, June 22, 2014, on ESPN’s “The Sports Reporters,” Mike Lupica of The New York Daily News already began the charge by saying that if the Redskins name was offensive, then clearly the Cleveland Indians and their mascot was even more so. He was not being ironic, he was being serious. Next target: Cleveland. Then the Atlanta Braves, Chicago Blackhawks, and on and on it will go. Fait Accompli, mark my words.
We’ve been having a lot of fun lately on the show identifying our “material” being stolen. A new email has gone viral which is essentially a version of the very serious rant Arnie and I have been doing for the past year as it relates to the name “Redskins.” We have asserted, correctly, that if we have now deemed that a very small percentage of people is all it takes to demand such changes, then few names are safe. While it will take, most likely, decades, to wipe out all of our names and eventually just name them TEAM ONE through TEAM THIRTY-THREE (Because 13 is unlucky and/or satanic, depending on which moron you’re listening to, no team will want that number and they’ll just skip over it), it will eventually happen. PETA has been arguing for decades that naming teams after animals demeans them and dismisses their importance. I actually heard one argument that said “it dehumanizes them.” Yes, that’s correct, calling a team “The Bears” is what makes a Bear not human. Swim in that logic for a while.
To that end, here is a fun viral rant which has been credited as follows, and sums up where we extremists, alarmists and pessimists know we’ll all be within our lifetimes. I know nothing of its validity, and have seen other versions. You’ll note this one doesn’t even claim the one Arnie and I most believe will be targeted immediately, the “Cowboys,” a name that literally pays homage to the very people who “massacred,” Native Americans. GONE! Either way, Just write me later and tell me I was correct, thanks much:
Here is an email sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.
Dear Mr. Page:
I always love your articles. and I generally agree with them. I would suggest…Here are some other politically correctness to consider:
I agree with our Native American population . I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.
Let's also ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive . Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population . Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.
I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres. Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged . We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.
The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates . Again, wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers---well that goes without saying... . . another wrong message to our children.
As for the Pittsburgh Steelers... who knows how many young men and women were encouraged to embark on a career of crime.
So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing congress loves.
As a die hard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers."