April 23rd, 2012 -- Your Own Interests
Recently Rob read a Dr. Rob letter from a guy whose fiancé has an alcoholic father that ends up causing scenes and is just trouble basically. Well the guy’s fiancé said she doesn’t want him at the wedding or walking her down the aisle. The guy who wrote us said that she has been dreaming of this day since she was a child for her father to be at her wedding and walking her down the aisle. Fast forward to adulthood and the girl now realizes that is just not a good idea. The guy who wrote us felt like he should do something, like have a talk with the father, set him up in a place of his own until the wedding ( the father was living with his mom and had been kicked out) that way his fiancé could still have her father there, because the letter writer felt that some day she would regret not having her father apart of the wedding.
I really think the letter writer is a sweet guy who truly loves and cares about his future wife and really just wants to make sure she is happy. However with that said she is a grown ass woman! And as an adult if she later regrets not having her dad there then that is just a consequence of her choice that she made as a grown ass woman!! And he as her husband, like any friend would can just talk her though it and help her come to terms with it. Too many times women get caught up in a daddy/daughter relationship as opposed to an adult relationship with their man. Yes there was a time when women went straight from being taken care of by their dad to then getting married and being taken care of by their husband. Since then we have proven that we can actually grow up and become functioning members of society and don’t need to be babied!! This isn’t about a woman staying home as opposed to working. That is something thankfully we can choose. But just because you stay home doesn’t now mean your husband treats you like he is your dad! Sadly though whether a woman stays home or has a career she will still allow herself to be treated like a child.
When two grown adults come together in a relationship, they are adding to each other’s lives, not taking away from. Each of you is still an individual with your own thoughts, likes, dislikes and with your own life experience. You become a team that works together you get to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses like on any team and you work with those, for example your guys strength may be finances so it makes sense for him to oversee them, however it doesn’t make sense that he turns that into he is your daddy giving you allowance!! Yes I realize I am talking about women not allowing themselves to be treated like someone’s little girl and I ironically gave finances as the man’s strength in my example!! Any whoooooo I know I know men you also get yourself involved with women who treat you like a little boy and that is also wrong, but as a gal myself that is who I am talking to today, the ladies!!
It’s perfectly okay ladies to have a voice in your relationship and want to be treated like an equal, like an adult! Wonderful!