Updated
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

I get asked all the time what part of Texas I'm from. I usually tell them I'm from Dallas. I'm actually from Garland, Texas which is a suburb of Dallas, it's just easier to say. Here are a few facts about my home city.

1. It is the 10th largest city in Texas and 86th in the whole U.S.

2. Both TV shows "King Of The Hill" and "Beavis and Butthead" are based on Garland, because creator Mike Judge is from G-Town. (He also wrote the movie "Office Space")

3. David Koresh, once the head of the Branch Davidians Cult in Waco, Tx (Waco Blood Bath), attended Garland High, he later dropped out. But lets just skip over that because

4. Jesus is from Garland, thats right Jesus Jimenez is from Garland, Texas.

5. "Walker Texas Ranger" (thats right shit, chuck norris) and "Prison Break" where filmed in Garland. Thats right Chuck Norris blew shit up, in G-Town.

6. Garland is a very diverse place. You have both little mexico and little vietnam, a good number of rednecks, black people, white people, mixed people, you name it, we got it.

7. Garland is the world's only suburb to have a suburb, Sachse (its unofficial, but pretty freakin true)

8. WE HAVE A BASS PROSHOPS, what bitch?

9. And a outdoor mall, outdoor mall in texas, good idea, for the three days a year that its not too hot and not too cold.

10. We used to have an awesome Wet N' Wild, but they tore it down a good while back. Now we have Hawaiian Falls, oh sweet.

11. We have a hockey team, Garland Stampede, bet you didnt know that.

12. LeAnn Rimes is from here and she sang at the longest running opry in the state of Texas, The Garland Opry.

13. Garland High is good at football, Naaman Forest High is good at baseball.

14. Hate when the power goes out? Move to Garland, Garland Power and Light won't ever let you down. Probably the best power company in Texas.

15. If you ever find yourself in the great city of Garland, you need to go by Yen China Cafe, because its probably the best Chinese resturant ever.

16. Supposedly the guy that invented laser tag is from Garland.

17. The largest red oak in the state of Texas is located in the Garland Cemetary, it can be seen from Garland Ave., Garland Cemetary is also to location of Smiley's Grave, on of the most haunted sites in Texas.

18. During WWII, Garland was the onion capital of the world, however that industry has since declined in G-town.

19. Garland is home to over 300 registered sex offenders, so if your horny and underage, this is your place. See Garland has something for everyone.

20. We used to be home to a Tiawanese Cult called God's Salvation Church. They believed that God was going to land in North Garland. The moved here all the way from Tiawan because they thought the name sounded like "God's Land". Did they ever think to go to Bethlehem, Texas? That sounds a little more holy to me. Don't believe me, http://www.cnn.com/US/9803/19/saucer.cult/index.html there you go, take a look for your self.

21. The TV show Cheaters has been shot here (like every other part of Dallas), however the famous episode where host Joey Greco was stabbed on a boat, happend to be on the Garland side of Lake Ray Hubbard. So don't screw with our rednecks cause they're packin.

22. The Black Power Ranger, John Bosch, was from Garland.

23. The creator of the computer game "Doom" is from Garland, as is the creator of "Duke Nukem"

24. Several child stars are from Garland, the kid who played "Spanky" in "The Little Rascals Movie" is from Garland, the kid who played "Beaver Cleaver" in the "Leave It To Beaver" movie (the recent remake) is from Garland, and the girl that played "Young Selina" in the movie "Selina" also resides in G-Town.

25. Like mac and cheese, well if you like the stuff in the blue box, well, its made here. Kraft has a warehouse that used to be a huge metal shop down in Garland's Industrial District.

26. A large part of Garland lies between Jupiter and Saturn...Jupiter Road and Saturn Road.

27. Want to see a Garlandnite in action? Naaman Forest Graduate, Melvin Bullett now plays with a little team called the Indianapolis Colts, he actually plays too.

28. Quincy Morgan, a South Garland gradute, played with the Pittsburg Steelers when they won the Super Bowl.

29. The now famous "Hannah Montana Essay Scandal", ocurred at the Garland Libby Lu store, in the Firewheel Town Center. Also the writer of the essay is from Garland. I still don't understand why this was national news.

30. American Idol Jason Castro was educated in the Garland Independent School District, at Rowlett High School, which is not in Garland technically, however the yellow bus that picked him up everyday had Garland ISD written on the side of it.

31. Dean Sams, Keyboard player for the Country Group "Lonestar" graduated from Lakeview Centennial High School, Class of '85

Monday June 25th, 2007
4:37am

Greetings diggities...

Greetings and howdy there from the one and only God on Earth. If you are looking for political correctness, reasons to feel good about yourself, or just a happy, fun place, then you have come to the WRONG DAMN PAGE! Welcome to the only page on the internet that won't blown sunshine up yours or your ugly girlfriend's ass. This is the page that tells you how it is, when it is, and where it is. Welcome to Arnie's Page

So, if you're wonderin' what you will find in the Arnie section of the site, check it: You can check out "Arnie's Movie Reviews" to find out what movies are actually decent to watch and which ones suck and all the actors should be banned from America. I'm do weekly columns for my "Keepin' it Real" page (where I just flat out tell it like it is and if you disagree you're just wrong) and my "Sports Page" (all you need to know in the world of sports each week). After reading all of this stuff and seeing all the pictures on this site (damn I'm hot) if you still don't feel like you know me, then just read what I've posted below, and you will know all you ever need to know about me...

When you're from Texas like me, people that you meet ask you questions like, Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?"

They all want to know if you've been to Southfork. They watched Dallas.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be.. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is some little bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, "Wow... so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?" Do you know why? Because there's no place like Texas.

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom. We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Crockett and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.

Texas is "Juneteenth" and Texas Independence Day.

Texas is the huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest.

Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend.

Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.

Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas.

Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.

Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.

Texas is Mexican food like nowhere else, not even in Mexico.

Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome.

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Waylon Jennings, Janis Joplin, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, George Bush, Lyndon B.Johnson, and our President... George W. Bush.

Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments and Compaq. And LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE!!! ! Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter.

Texas is NASA.

Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.

Texas is skies blackened with doves, and fields full of deer.

Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local High School Football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night
Football, and for the "Night In Old San Antonio River" Parade in San Antonio. Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.

If it isn't in Texas, you probably don't need it.

No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.

By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the US flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, California, or Maine and your state flag whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a republic before it became a state.

Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington, D.C. and we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to!! We included these things as part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part right there.

Hell, we're so damn special in Texas, we even have our own power grid.

Always remember, there are two kinds of people in this world... people who are from Texas... and people who wish they were.

Which one are you?