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Updated Wednesday January 25th, 2007 Whaddup diggities... Now, we need to look at the bad side of the industry. The things I'm about to list are things that I and most people should try to avoid when it comes to watching and enjoying porn. If you're into these things, let me just say.... WOW!! This stuff even shocks me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So here are my... Top 5 Things to Avoid When Picking Out Pornos...
Midget Porn - I know a lot of people are turned on by little people. I'm not one of them. Sure they are spinners but, those little sausage arms fingers and legs just grosses me the hell out.
"Max Hardcore" Movies- OK, so this guy has made a bunch of movies where he goes around banging chicks and sure some of the chicks are really hot, but in his porno movies he is in ALL the scenes and it's like watching your Granddaddy get his nasty on!!!!!!!! Not to mention in one movie it looked like he poured motor oil in some chick. Oh, and his finishing move is a face cleaning session with the girl of his choice, but that's not hose water he's using!!!!!!!
Ron Jeremy Movies - OK, so the Hedgehog is a legend in the Porn industry. But come on, watching him act over the last 10 or so years, he has just let himself go!!!!!!!!!! If I really wanted to see a fat guy getting his nasty on I would own more mirrors in my house!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a tie at the number #1 spot for the things to avoid when picking out porn movies...
Tied for #1
Girls Kicking Guys in the Junk - I have only seen a couple of these movies because they make me sick to my stomach. What you see is some dude, usually wearing tighty whiteys in the video. Sometimes he is tied up, other times he is a free range weirdo. Then some chick walks in wearing big stiletto heals and asks the guy if he's ready. This is when you know something is going terribly wrong and you should turn off the video. If you don't you will see this chick rare back with her leg and kick him in the crotch as hard as possible. The guy goes down like a sack of crap, but here's the gross thing. When he gets up, HE GETS UP, if you know what I mean!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tied for #1 Scatology Porn - If you don't know what that means, it's a whole genre of porn that has to do with people playing with poo and using it in sex. I'm not even going to go in much detail about this (nor am I using any photos for an example), because this is just too gross for me and most of the world. There are websites that you can check out if you really really want to to find this stuff. It has something to do with the word Scat and Lovers and dot com. I have only one word for you on this subject. POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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