Ok that time of year is here again and I am pumped!!!!!  It's time for the NFL to kick off another wonderful season.  I can't wait because this year the Dallas Cowboys WILL win the Superbowl and be the first team in history to 6 championship rings.  But lets talk about some other teams while we are here shall we???

New England Patriots.  Hopefully this year the Patriots won't cheat and video tape other teams practicing.  I can't promise that won't happen but at least we can hope.  Tom Brady has got too much on his mind, a kid, and an overrated hot girlfriend.  Plus the rest of the team is older than shit so they will make the playoffs and then their Social Security will kick in and then it's BINGO time.

 

New York Giants.  Last year was a fluke.  Eli Manning looks and talks like a retard and will play like it again this year.  I don't even know who else is left on that team but don't look for them to go anywhere.

 

New York Jets.  Brett Farve can't make lemmonade out of shit.  So don't expect him too.  I say that he plays about 8 games and realizes how bad the organization is and quits......AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

 

San Diego Chargers.  Shawn Merriman is an idiot!!!!!!! How can a 24 year old make such a stupid decison not to have surgery on his knee when NEXT year is the contract year.  This will kill the Chargers even faster than Norm Turner, and that's saying a lot.

 

Indianapolis Colts.  I can't wait until the Cowboys beat them in the Superbowl this year.  I like Peyton Manning, but I like beating Peyton Manning even more.  Yes, he looks like a retard too.  By the way, could more guys get hurt on that team.  There must be something in the crappy Indy water.

 

San Francisco 49ers.  Do I really even need to say anything about how bad they are??????? I mean the number 1 pick from a couple years ago has been benched.  BENCHED!!!!!!!!  Hopefully the season will end quickly for them and they can sign a free agent quarterback soon.

 

Green Bay Packers.   All I can say is good luck without Farve.  Your going to need it with Aarron Rodgers as your quareterback.  The best thing that could happen would be for him to get hurt and to find a back-up that turns into the next Farve.

 

Carolina Panthers.  Does this team even still exhist??????  Their best player Steve Smith has been suspended for the first two regular season games for getting into a fight the first week of training camp.  Whoever the head coach is, obviously doesn't want to win.  Oh yea, and Jake Delome is TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

New Orleans Saints.  Maybe Gustov will take care of the city again and we can all feel good about the Saints because that is about the only thing they have going for them this year.  Reggie Bush...........FLOP FLOP FLOP!!!!!!!  Hopefully he can be on the next season of dancing with the stars.  Oh, that's right, they only take athletes that WIN!!!!!

There you go a brief breakdown of the NFL this season.  Like I said earlier, the Cowboys WILL win the Superbowl this year, and even maybe next year.  I smell ANOTHER DYNASTY!!!!!!!  How 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ok, so this years College Football season is only a week away from kicking off.  The AP and the Coaches have shown you how stupid they are with their polls.  I don't even want to start with how SHITTY Playboy is so here is how I think the season should start off and by the way I'm only doing the top 10 because that's all that matters.

 

1.  Georgia.  I think that the Bulldogs showed a whole bunch of heart, and talent too bad they play in the one of the two toughest confrences in America and won't go without at least two losses this season. 

 

2.  Oklahomo.  Yes, I hate this team more than any other team in the country but they do have a bunch of great starters coming back including their quarterback Sam Bradford.  This is the other tough confernce in America and I do KNOW FOR A FACT THEY WILL LOOSE THE FIRST GAME IN OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

3.  Wisconson.  I hate to put a Big 10 school in the top 5, but this is the only one that is worth a shit.  Look, how many times does Ohio State have to get blown out to make people realize that they aren't that good.  I think this could be the best team in the Big 10.

 

4.  Missouri.  Another team from the Big 12 that will look really good on paper with a bunch of starters coming back.  Lets remember though that last year they didn't have to play a certain team in the Big 12 south that would have whooped that ass.

 

5.  TEXAS.  This is that certain team in the Big 12 south that NO ONE is giving any respect to.  Look for them to not only win, but win BIG this year.  HOOK'em HORNS!!!!!!!!

6.  Florida.  Many people have this team higher just because they have the returning Heisman Trophy winner, but lets not forget the Heisman curse, and Tim Tebow showed that it is alive and well when he got his ass handed to him last New Years.

 

7.  Some shitty school that no one cares about.  I mean it always happens that a West Virginia or a Clemson gets put in here so why not have a crap bag here.

 

8.  Anyone except USC or Ohio State here.  I mean aren't we tired of having these two schools on top all the time, and then they don't win anything??????????  I know that they play each other in the second game of the season but who cares about these two shitty schools anymore.

 

9.  Tennessee.  You can't say that Phil Fulmer isn't a good coach.  He took a team and a hurt quarterback to the SEC title game last year, and damn near won.  This year he has a new offense and a new quarterback that isn't hurt.

 

10.  The feel good school.  This is where you can insert your Hawaii, your Boise State, and this years Cinderella BYU.  Too bad they will make a BCS game and then get the living shit knocked out of them.

Well, as I told you last week, this week I would be talking about College football.  We are less than two weeks away from the season kicking off, and I'm pissed off already.  The polls have been released and once again it's a joke.  I don't know about other college football fans but I am getting sick and damn tired of seeing the same fucking teams at the top.  Ohio State and USC.  Now four or five years ago I could see those teams because at least they were decent back then.  But now they are only a shell of their former teams.  How many times does Ohio State have to get beat in the National Championship game to finally get voters to say that they aren't that good.  I mean you can use the tired excuse of at least they are getting to the game and by the way it's bullshit.  They loose last year to Illinois and still get into the National Title game??????????  And USC is going to be fun watch fall apart this season, they don't have any, and I mean ANY offense to speak of whatsoever.  Their quarterback is the same guy that lost to Stanford last year, and could do the same this year.  I do have to give some credit to the pollsters for giving Georgia the nod, because they could be that good.  Too bad they won't because they play in one of the two toughest conferences that there are.  The SEC and the Big 12 will have this years champion in their ranks.  I don't think that the people who vote for the top 25 really did their homework this year.  I mean look at LSU who is in the top 10.  No reason for that.  They not only lost their quarterback from last year, but running backs, their heir-apparent quarterback was kicked out, and they have a ton of new starters on defense.  If they win more than 6 games this year I will be surprised.  Clemson is in the top 10????????? I know that they play in the ACC but this isn't basketball season yet, and when it is they will suck in that too!!!!!!!!!!  Everyone is saying that Oklahomo will be the team to beat this year.  Well, they will be beaten that first weekend in October in Dallas to the tenth ranked Longhorns.  Who by the way many people are saying won't win 10 games this year.  Wake up people, Missouri and Kansas are going to suck this year and you heard it here first.  If you want to see a really high powered offense run the score up this year, head to Reno when the Nevada Wolfpack takes on the Texas Tech Red Raiders.  Tech will win, but it will be on of their only wins on the season because they don't play defense and I think Nevada could show the nation how to stop them.  As far as Cinderella schools go, I hate them all.  But the big talk is that BYU will be the team representing the little guys this year in a BCS game.  Do we not remember what happened to Hawaii last year???????????? Blowout against Georgia.  Just stop having these flash in the pan schools come and try to join in.  There is no place for them, never has been, never will be.  I'm excited for the season to kick off.  Just remember one thing.   HOOK'em HORNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so the NFL season is right around the corner and here are a few quick hits at what to expect for the upcoming season.  By the way, next week I will probably be doing what to look for in College football, so just deal with it.

 

The Dallas Cowboys WILL WIN the Superbowl

 

The New England Patriots will NOT make the Superbowl

 

The Indianapolis Colts will NOT make the Superbowl

 

Eli Manning will not be the quarterback people want him to be, he will still be shitty.

 

Brett Farve will bore us all to death in New York

 

Aarron Rodgers sucks, and will always do so.

 

Look for Vince Young to break out this season thanks to the Titans letting him play

 

Reggie Bush will have another terrible season, and hopefully we won't have to see Kim Kardashian at all his games.

 

The Oakland Raiders may go .500, and monkeys may fly out of my ass.

 

The 49ers will be terrible again thanks to Alex Smith who will hopefully leave the team on his own.

 

Did I mention the Cowboys will WIN the Superbowl

 

Peyton Manning will break his own Touchdown record

 

Eli Manning will learn how to walk and chew gum this season.........HOPEFULLY

 

The San Diego Chargers will be the NFL's most overrated team again, and not do anything to deserve it.

 

Donovan McNabb will retire after this year because he will finally realize that he is terrible.

 

The Houston Texans SUCK

 

Do the Chicago Bears have a quarterback???????  Great draft!!!!!!

 

The Detroit Lions and the Buffalo Bills will be better, but they are still both AWEFUL franchises.  Look for them to win maybe one more game than last year.

 

The Washington Redskins are terrible and will fire Head Coach Jim Zorn after this year. 

 

Welcome back Marty Shottenheimer.

 

Wade Phillips will retire after the Superbowl and Jason Garrett will take the 'Boys back next year too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 These are just a few things that I have seen so far during training camp, I can't wait for football season to start!!!!!!!

Ok, I know that we are sooooooooooooo close to the Olympics.  I also know that the Olympics suck!!!!!!!!!!  At least these are the summer games, and we get to see just how great America still is.  I still hate the games for a variety of reasons.  Lets start off with they are going to be in China and after the opening ceremonies everyone is going to forget about how bad they treat their people.  I don't care about that, but that's all I've heard about and I can't wait until we talk about how "cool" it was to see the torch lit.  The next and one of the most important things that I hate about the games are all the vignettes.  You know showing the person training at home on the farm, lifting weights and overcoming such a horrific....SAVE THE DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!  We know that it took alot for these "athletes" to make it to the games, hell isn't it about a 15 hour flight???????  Whoopdee-doo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Does anyone really give a big pile of shit about anything in the games, except for MAYBE basketball???????  And by the way that is ONLY MEN'S basketball.  But do we even care about that anymore????? The answer is probably not, but we will all pretend to for the next couple of weeks, because we have "Olympic Fever".  No, it's the only damn thing on.  That's why anyone would watch this crap.  I mean there are about 500 different channels covering the games and who really wants to watch archery?????????  But you will get to see that at some point during the day.  The biggest lie about the games is that they are for everyone.  NO, that's not true, they are and always have been and always will be for WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!  That is why they ALWAYS show gymnastics and figure skating at night, so that the women can watch them.  If the games were for the men, then there would be football somewhere in these games.  Don't tell me that there is a man in America that REALLY wants to watch fencing???????  On-guard, my ass.  I'm sure if you look hard enough during the games at one point you will see most of the doves that they set free in the opening ceremonies hanging in a market really close to the action.  YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  GO USA!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Arnie

Ok, enough is enough.  Brett Farve wants to play football and the Green Bay Packers are idiots if they don't let him.  It's really that simple.  If the stories are true and the only reason that he did retire was because the Packers wanted to know right away if he was going to play, then it's the Packers bad in that situation.  Let's take a look at the Packers without Farve.  You want to talk about a middle of the road team that was lucky to make the playoffs, and yes the fans still supported them.  Then when Don "Magic Man" Majkowski got hurt and gave Farve his shot it was over from there.  I don't personally like Farve because he isn't a Cowboy, but he is one of the GREATEST quarterbacks, hell one of the greatest players to ever play the game, and the Packers are telling him to play backup to a guy that left college a year too early.  By the way that would be Aaron Rodgers.    But how can the Packers with a straight face ask Brett Farve to play backup?????????? Did the Packers forget about last season????????? Did they forget when they went out and spent money to make the team good they had a leader that really made them better than anyone would have thought.   Nothing like rewarding that with a backup roll.  I can't blame the Packers for wanting to know so they didn't have to worry about everything in the off-season, but hasn't Farve earned that????????  I know that Farve at some points has been an ass to work with, but acting the same way he does doesn't put asses in seats.  I don't think that the Green Bay Packers will ever piss their fans off enough to where people won't go to games, but this is one hell of a start.  Just let Brett Farve come back for this last season and hopefully he can get you to the NFC Championship game again next year, too bad that you will be loosing the Almighty DALLAS COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

Arnie

What an appropriate way to start off my sports column this week.  The reason being is because of Michelle Wie.  Here is this "sensation" is at it again.  You remember her, she's the girl who won the U.S. Public Links golf championship a few years ago, and everyone called her the next Tiger Woods.  They said that she was going to do for women's golf what Tiger did for men's and so on.  She was given all sorts of money from Sony and Nike when at the age of 16 she decided to turn pro.  But not all the way, she only played in a few events hand picked for her and majors that people thought she could win.  Which by the way she didn't.  Then a couple years ago, she hurt her wrist while running because I guess she's kind of a klutz and fell down while running.  Well, she didn't give it enough time, according to her people, and rushed back to fast to the competition.  You know, the competition that she was supposed to crush, just like Tiger but didn't.  She ended up quitting a few tournaments because of her "injuries" and then decided to take some time off and go to school.  She attends Stanford, where she doesn't play golf, like Tiger did there, but is going to class. That is until a couple months ago when she said she was ready to go back out and play golf.  And this past weekend she did.  She was actually in the hunt of things this past weekend, I think she was in the top 5 going into the last day.  She had a chance to win the tournament and pretty much lock up a spot full time on the LPGA tour, without having to go to Qualifying school.  Well, that is until she forgot to sign her scorecard. One of the first things you do before you leave the scoring tent.  Something that EVERYONE who plays competitive golf knows!!!!!!!!!!!! This isn't like testing out the sand and finding  out that's against the rules, this is just flat out stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA, oh wait I already did that.  I hope that Michelle Wie has a long career of doing things like this, it's makes my life a whole lot easier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so the "big" news in sports is the whole A-Rod divorce and if he slept with Madonna.  Well, since that's the big news, that's what we are going to talk about.  We are going to talk about how much I really don't give a flying poop about it.  I mean lets think about this, do you really think that A-Rod is going to go out and bang Madonna??????? The bitch is 500 years old.  Now, I know that his wife Cynthia, who by the way NEVER lost any of the baby weight, so I can't say that I blame A-Rod, but he still shouldn't have done it.  Anyway she said that he had a few affairs and that their are all kind of hot strippers showing up all over the place saying that they did it with him.  Ok, I can buy that, but this Madonna thing is just lame.  I know in the past she was linked to Jose Canseco, and Dennis Rodman, but that was like 20 years ago when people found her oddly attractive.  Let me put it plane and simple for you.  MADONNA IS AN UGLY BITCH!!!!!!!!  She always has been and she will ALWAYS be one.  Stop it right now, I don't care about how great she looks for 50, she is still 50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Get it through your head if A-Rod wanted to bang an older woman, I'm sure he could have done much MUCH better than Madonna.  I can't wait for the truth to come out, and all I can say to A-Rod is say it ain't so, just say that you banged strippers.

 

Arnie