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I swear, you men crack me up with all the cute little things you do. Sometimes I wonder if we're even from the same planet! You have your little hobbies and your little behaviors and your little mannerisms, and all the cute little things you do that make you men. I wonder if you guys have a clue how silly how you look. So to help you figure out why your "guy" characteristics are so endearing, I've made a little list to help you out...
THE 15 CLASSIC REASONS WHY GUYS ARE SO CUTE.....
Reason #1: Smelling your own farts... |
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| I don't know what it is with you men and your bodily smells! I swear, I keep waiting for you to light a cigar and throw a parade every time you let one go. And for some reason, you feel the need to savor and evaluate each one, like you'd get some prize if you could make it smell worse. But that's okay. You men can't help it. You guys are so cute! |
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Reason #2: Wasting your time talking about sports... |
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| Okay, really. Get over yourselves. 99% of you guys couldn't put a ball through the hoop thingy, or whatever, but all of you feel the need to yip about it non stop. Blah blah blah. Sports this, baseball that..... "hey, did you hear where this person hit a thousand homeruns..... yadda yadda yadda." I mean really. WHO CARES??? But that's okay. We know you have to do your cute little sports-talk. It's what makes you men. You really have nothing else to talk about anyway, so at least you stick to something you know. You guys are so cute that way. |
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Reason #3: Pretending you know about cars... |
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I'll tell ya what.... put 3 guys in a room together and start counting to 100. By the time you hit 12, one of them will start rambling on about some car. "Did ya hear that the new blah blah blah gets 300 million horsepower and torque and handling.... bocca bocca bocca, bleh bleh bleh," as if you are all of a sudden an expert on automotive engineering! Here's another thing I love... when your having any kind of car trouble, a man will walk up and assume that because he is a man, he can lift the hood and know what the hell he's talking about when he's never touched and engine before in his life. Thank God for cars and sports, otherwise men would have nothing to talk about at bars. But that's why we love you cutie pies.
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Reason #4: The non-stop scratching of yourselves....
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Scratch, sniff, burp. Scratch, sniff, burp. What, are you guys on some kind of a schedule? Are ya afraid that if you don't stop rubbing yourselves that it'll fall off? I mean come on... you guys are like cute little zoo animals with the way you pick and scratch at yourselves. Don't believe how silly you look guys? Let's have some fun.
Let's play a fun little game called "Find the Man".....
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| Did you find the man yet? If you are a woman, you're used to seeing this, so this game was probably no fun. But that's okay guys. It what makes you so cute!!! |
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Reason #5: You men can only do one thing at a time.... |
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| You men are so cute how your little brains can only deal with one task at a time. Women can watch their kids, shop, talk on the phone and plan their day, all while organizing their appointment book and putting on makeup, and that's on a slow day. Never ask a guy to do something for you while he's in the middle of some simple task, or trust me, your house will fall apart. Sometimes I think you men would never get yourselves out of bed without falling down without us. But you're so cute like that! Really, don't worry, we're used to it. |
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Reason #6: You men are TERRIBLE at details.... |
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| "Honey, where are my socks? Have you seen my tie? Where's the remote? It's not where you told me it was?" DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS. You men ARE HORRIBLE at details. I swear, the house could be on fire, and you guys would never know, because you'd be lost in what ever simple activity you wandered your way into. 9 marriages out of 10 stay together simply because you men couldn't find your way out of the house without us. But that's okay. You guys are SOOOO cute when you act like that!! Men are so great! |
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Reason #7: Your ridiculous fascination with Golf.... |
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This absolutely steals the cake. What the hell do you guys see in this dumb game? What a waste of time! Hit the ball, chase the ball. Hit the ball, chase the ball. Hit the ball, chase the ball. Deeeerrrrrrrrrrr! It's so funny to me because guys always like to feel like you're useful to somebody, but here's an activity that is of no use to anybody. And it's so cute how you get so mad when your little white ball doesn't go where you want it to. Then you get mad and blame it on your stick or your bag or your little helper person who carries your bags. But the way you do it is just sooo cute! It's like you all think you're Tiger Woods in your cute little perfect world. You guys are so funny like that.
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Reason #8: Talking to the TV when you are watching sports... |
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| I swear, you men are so cute when you're sitting on your couches and watching your little sporting events, 'cause ya can't just watch, ya have to feel like you're important and that you personally have some kind of influence on the outcome of the game. Somewhere along the way you decide that shouting at the TV is somehow going to either A) help your team get the home run or B) make the person you don't like a better player. You men are adorable when you do that. I'm sure the players (who by the way can't hear you in case ya haven't figured out) love your insightful comments like... "catch the ball!!l"... "tackle the guy!!"... "make the shot!!" It's a good thing you're there to tell them that because otherwise, they wouldn't do it, right?? ;) You men are so cute when you get like that. |
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Reason #9: You men and your video games... |
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Oh my gosh, how cute are you guys when you plop down in front of the TV to play you're little video games. I swear, you turn into little babies with your eyes as big as dinner plates and the drool hangin' from your lower lip. You guys are such cuties, but what in the world happens to you!!??!!? What's with turnin' all the lights off in the house and wasting multiple hours at a time on these toys?? I swear, you all of a sudden revert back to being little toddlers (which I guess really is not that much reverting, is it ;) Don't ya know how silly you look when you're doin' this?!!?
Now I know that according to you men, us women are supposed to be bad at math, but I have a quick math equation to throw out at you men. Tell me what you think... |
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| Yup, looks about right to me. But I can't hold it against you guys because you're so cute when you get like this!!! Have fun with your cute little toys. Make sure you write down your high score so you can tell all your friends how good you are!! |
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Reason #10: Your obsession with boobs... |
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| Oh my gosh, what is it with you men and boobs?? Hey guys, quick newsflash... THEY'RE JUST BOOBS!!! I swear to God, you could take the smartest guy in the world and put some boobs in front of him and all of a sudden what little common sense you men have is completely gone. There are deer staring at headlights on the highway that have a bigger attention span than any man walking the Earth when a pair of boobs walks in the room. I've done some thinking, and I've figured out why male scientists haven't found the cure to every disease known to man.... because it's not hiding behind boobs. (How funny is that!!!) But that's why we women love you men. You're wonderful and you're simple. You men are so cute. |
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Reason #11: Your belief that toilet paper will hop off the spool and replace itself when it's out... |
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| Alright... the gloves are off now. What is it with you men that you can't replace the dang toilet paper?? This must be encoded in your DNA or something. I swear, do ya go to secret meetings where you all decide you're not gonna touch the empty toilet paper spool so the bathroom goblin doesn't get ya?? I mean DANG, walk over to the cabinet, grab a roll, replace!!!! But then again, walking into the bathroom and seeing the sight of one little square of toilet paper dangling from an empty spool just reminds me of how cute you men are. |
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Reason #12: Your obsession with changing the channels on TV 18,000 times a minute... |
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Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip... "Seinfeld" rerun.
Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip... "Cheers" rerun.
Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip... old rerun of "All in the Family."
Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip... episode of some dang sports show YOU ALREADY WATCHED 3 TIMES IN A ROW!!! What in the world goes on with you guys that you can't sit down on the couch and calmly watch a television show or two. I swear, it's like the the start of a commercial is like the starting pistol at some kinda track meet where ya have to pick up the remote (ya don't really have to pick it up 'cause ya never put it down in the first place cause you're waiting for the channel flippin' track meet to start) and you change the channels so fast you can't even see what you changing it from!!! But then again, it's cute to watch how you guys get when you get around things that have buttons and knobs. It makes you feel like you're in control of things. You men are so cute when you're like that. |
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| Flip flip flip flip flip flip flip flip... "Baywatch" rerun. You men are the best. |
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Reason #13: Your inability to find things that don't slither up and bite you...
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| Men... we love you, but you don't look. When you've lost something and can't find it, you may think you're looking, but your not. Walking into a room and glancing around for 5 seconds and then leaving is not looking. There is a reason why you men are always losing things and asking for our help to find it, and the reason is you don't know how to look. This is not really something you can teach somebody, so we women pretty much just find things for you. It makes everybody's day go by a lot faster. But it's why we love you. You men are so cute when you try and look for things. |
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| Reason #14: Your talent for making a mess, no matter how clean the world around you is... |
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Show me a man and I'll show you a mess. Guys, we love you, but if you're clean for longer than 5 minutes, it's an accident of nature. My favorite thing is when you men try to "clean up" after yourselves. Wanna have some fun today? Walk into a kitchen right after a man has made a sandwich and "cleaned up" after himself. And also, do you men go to some kind of school to learn how to spill drinks when you pour them? Just a quick note, you're supposed to stop pouring before the glass overfills. But honestly, it's so cute to watch you guys that we just let you be. Then we go behind you secretly and clean things the way they should be.
By the way, here's what a house looks like that doesn't have a woman living in it.
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Oh yeah, and this is what a husband looks life if the wife leaves the room for longer than 20 minutes
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But that's why we ladies love you men so much. You men are so cute. |
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| Reason #15: How you exaggerate all of your stories... |
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You men absolutely crack me up when you start to tell your little stories about the little man things you do. I swear, if one of ya catches a fish, first of all, the first thing you have to do is get all your little buddies together and talk about it. And every time you do, that dang fish gets bigger and bigger and bigger until eventually it's like you're 9 feet tall, the fish is bigger than a house, and all of you sit around and high five each other because it makes your little egos feel better. But I have to admit, it's fun to watch you guys when you're like this. You men are so cute.
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Those are my favorite reasons why you guys are so cute. I know you guys don't respond too well to words, so here's a couple of pictures to illustrate what I'm talking about (Arnie... "illustrate" means to describe using pictures).....
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An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.
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Hungry!
Horny!
Sleepy!
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Ladies, email me and tell me how right I am. Cute little men, email me with your huffs and your gruffs about how I'm just a woman and don't understand.
Back to My New Reasons Why You Men Are So Cute!!! |
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