Arnie's Movie Review Archives

July 26th, 2010

SALT

So if your still on team Anniston then you are going to LOVE the movie Salt.  The main reason is because Angelina Jolie gets the shit beat out of her throughout the whole movie.  If you are an action fan like me you are not going to like this movie because a chick does nothing but kick ass.  The movie is about a Russian spy that has been in America since they were a child, after they were trained by the KGB.  That's right kids trained by the KGB are badasses that live in America now.  And Jolie's character just so happens to work for the CIA now.  So she was trained as a child and now she was trained by our guys.  Well they find out who she is and then it's on.  Except for the fact that American spys, cops, and Secret Service agents all of a sudden can't hit water if they fell out of a fuckin' boat with their bullets.  But of course she can, hell she doesn't miss.  And truth be told only Russian men can kick her ass.  So here we go, Angelina if you really think that you are that much of a badass, then prove it.  Come down to the radio station and put your money where you ass kickin' is.  I know it's a movie, but come on a chick that can kick all those guys asses???????  I'm not buying it because she's not even playing a lesbian.  I know that there will be at least one more of these crappy movies coming out that I will have to see and just like this one I WILL HATE THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"SALT" =