Round 2 Of Producer Cristi's Photos From Cancun, Mexico
February 3rd, 2009

So how bad is my Spanish? Here’s a great example:
While waiting in the airport I read a sign that said “Lavar dinero es un delito!”
When my boyfriend asked me what it said, I told him “Wash your money because it is delicious.” After further research, the true translation is “Money laundering is a crime.” Honestly, I don’t think I was that far off! But clearly I am better at taking pictures than translating Spanish, so here is Round 2 of my vacation photos:

I enjoyed most mornings having coffee on the balcony with my father, talking shit about the Steelers, politics and making fun of my boyfriend. My Dad rules. He’s also the one responsible for my gigantic monkey feet.

I spent most of my days on the beach for three great reasons:
1. The bluest water I have ever seen
2. Sunshine
3. Little Mexican dudes who would run drinks to us from the beach bar.

I had to take the opportunity to photograph this rare walrus sighting.

This photograph is proof that I am an idiot. I took the picture because I thought it was a grouping of pelicans. It was a group of people snorkeling.

This photo is per Dawn’s request: me enjoying the sun in my bathing suit. Ta-da!

That drink in my Dad’s hand is called a “Banana Monkey”. It is the kind of drink where you can barely taste the liquor, but there is a ton of it in there. If you drink two of them while sitting down, when you get up it hits you like a ton of bricks. Kind of like Rob’s Cognac Iced Teas…but much more white trash. I think I drank about 400 of them while on vacation.

Later, while reviewing the beach photos taken earlier in the day, my boyfriend said I should have taken a sexier swimsuit photo for Dawn. I tried to make up for it with this ridiculous Project Runway-esque photo. Ta-da!

This is my nephew Cade. I have him convinced that I am his Fairy Godmother.

Ok. This is where we got SUPER touristy. We spent the evening off the strip in Old Downtown Cancun (read: Where most people feel they will be killed or robbed) at an awesome restaurant called Perrico’s. While you dine, the waiters, bartenders & shot girls constantly screw with you. One guy threw a rubber bug on my plate, another grabbed my hand and pulled me on the dance floor in the middle of my meal. They have a mariachi band and the waiters stack drinks on top of their heads & then light them on fire. It’s cheesy and silly but super fun every time I go there. I think I laughed from the time I walked in the door until I got in the cab to leave. Random fact: the cabbie was wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket.

That’s right. A midget in a devil costume tying a balloon animal for a kid who was taller than him. He’s even wearing red Chucks. I told you this place ruled.

The midget stashed his balloons right next to our table. My Mom tried to make a hat for my Dad, which I folded into the form of a snake crushing a mouse to death.

Shots! A cool trick I learned in Mexico a few years ago: if you chase tequila with tomato juice, it totally takes away the sting & mouth-burning sensation. Way better than the stupid salt & lemon. Of course, you could always just not drink cheap tequila.

As if we didn’t drink enough – the prettiest shot girl in the bar served us shooters, put a pan on our head & banged on it right after we drank them. My Mom looks upset because the shot girl ran out of liquor when she got to my mother, so she had to wait.  This frat party was brought to you by sheer nonsense.

Nothing gives me more joy than making my parents laugh (which is super easy when they are drunk) Here I am being a goof and letting a metal bird peck my eyes out.

Nothing gives my boyfriend more joy than turning me on. Here he is being super sexy.

You know those idiots in San Francisco who stand out by the piers and do stupid shit for money? Yeah, they have those in Mexico too. Here we have a guy pretending to be a statue and covered in gold as well as a Kiss impersonator at the mall.

The Black Pearl. This bar was incredible! It was an open air bar located on a pier off of the lagoon, next to the flea market. All of the seats were swings and they allowed us to draw all over the bar. SMFJ stands for Scott MF (yes, it means what you think) Johnson + CC (me, dummies). Again, cheesy, but super fun. I took the Sharpie opportunity to draw all over my boyfriend’s arm.

While we were at the flea market (again, in a drunken stupor) my sister picked up Luce Libre masks for the kids, which they seemed to enjoy.

Fast forward about 19-20 hours later…I wake up and feel an excruciating pain in my foot, which is now black and blue. The last thing I remember is drinking margaritas on the beach. I asked my boyfriend what happened, and he told me that after 4-5 margaritas and no breakfast, I decided it would be a good idea to go swimming and cracked it on the rocks. Unwilling to see a medical professional, I iced it, elevated it & went back to drinking.

The bum foot proved to be detrimental to the rest of the vacation, as the next day we had planned an 8 hour tour of the ancient Mayan ruins at Chichen Itza. How did we manage to make it work? Wheelchair goodness in the next photo update…

Just F-ing thrilled to be back,
Producer Cristi

Shoot us an e-mail for questions or comments.