ROB AND ARNIE'S GOLF ETIQUETTE RULES

Golf is a gentlemen's game, so act like one please. People have become so rude on the course, someone has to remind you how to behave. Follow these guidelines and you'll be respected by your fellow golfers:

Play "ready golf:" Don't stand around waiting for the guy who got the best score on the previous hole unless there is some sort of gambling game going on, like the animal game…just hit your damn shot.

Don't spend to much time looking for balls: The rule is 5 minutes but don't be a cheap-ass. Take 90 seconds and move on, jerk. Also, if you saw it go into a tall bush, why do you want to hit it out of there, just take your distance and it will cost you a stroke but help the pace of play.

Don't spend too much time looking for yardage: Courses now are marked pretty well. So don't think there's a big difference between 150 and 154, just hit your 150 club and move on. Besides you aren't good enough that 5 yards matters.

Let people play through: If you notice people are on your ass the whole day and nobody is in front of you, let them go through, golf does not have to take 4 ½ hours….especially if it's a two-some and nobody is in front of you.

Match the logos: This one is tough for beginners but do-able. If you're playing Cleveland clubs, you should have a Cleveland hat on. Don't wear logos of stuff you don't have in your bag and are not playing.

Women... get off the course: We really don't need to explain too much more there.

Kids get off the course: See above

Hydrate yourself: Drink plenty of water, gatorade whatever, just stay hydrated because if you pass out you really should let the group behind you go ahead of you. The bar is for after your round.

Don't utter stupid cliché's: Things like "even a blind squirrel finds a nut," uttered when you make your one birdie of the day is just flat out stupid as fuck.

Shake hands when play is over: This is just courteous to your fellow players and the game itself…but don't take too long there is a group behind you wanting to hit.

Turn off the ringers on your cell: If you even have to have your phone, then at least just turn it to vibrate and only check messages when you have to wait.

Shut the fuck up: We really don't know why people have to talk so loud in public in general, but there is especially no reason for it on the golf course. We really don't want to hear what happened last night at Chili's when Jill got drunk. And don't yell like an ape when you sink a 3 foot putt for a triple bogey…nobody is impressed.

Learn how to fix ball marks: Don't beat the mark into the ground with the putter. Bend over and fix it. If you don't know how ask someone how to do it. Stop ruining all the greens…jerks.

Questions about our etiquette rules? Drop us an email.