 |
  
|
Updated Friday March 30th, 2007 Hi everyone, It's me, Shep, the German Shepherd again. My silly parents STILL haven't finished my backyard so I am forced to lie in dirt in I want to be outside at all. Fortunately, the time allows me to catch up on my newspaper reading and I came across a story in the USA Today recently about a bunch of dog movies that are coming out this year (story here: http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/2007-03-28-dog-movies_N.htm) Here is what I, as a dog, think of the movies coming out: "YEAR OF THE DOG": This movie comes out in April and is about a dog that fights fires. REVIEW: This movie will suck. First of all, the firefighting dog isn't even a Dalmatian, which is just dumb. Second of all, dogs don't fight fires, we fight bad guys and chew toys. Third of all, if you aren't going to cast a Dalmatian as the firefighter, you should cast a German Shepherd because HELLO! We're already police dogs, which brings us to the most important reason this movie will suck: because it does not star a German Shepherd. Some idiot Irish Terrier is the dog in this film and that's dumb.
"A DOG YEAR": This movie comes out next year and starts some human named Jeff Bridges who adopts a crazy dog during a mid-life crisis. REVIEW: This movie will suck. For starters, any movie that features a crazy dog is a bad movie. Secondly, No one gets a dog to cure their mid-life crisis, they get a sports car. Thirdly, it stars some idiot named Jeff Bridges. Fourthly, no dog movie should ever have any type of collie in it unless that Collie's name is Lassie, which brings us to the most important reason this movie will suck: because it does not star a German Shepherd. Some idiot Border Collie is the dog in this film and that's dumb.
"UNDERDOG": This movie comes out later this summer and is based on some dumb cartoon my dad used to watch. REVIEW: This movie will suck. First of all, dogs can't talk or fly. We can write, type, chase balls and poop, but we can't fly or talk. Second of all, if you are going to make a dog into a super hero, you should cast a German Shepherd because HELLO! We're already police dogs, which brings us to the most important reason this movie will suck: because it does not star a German Shepherd. Some idiot Beagle is the dog in this film and that's dumb. |
||