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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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March 19th, 2007 29 THINGS THAT MAKE RENO BETTER THAN SACRAMENTO
To summarize, my premise is simple: I want people to be honest. You have every right to enjoy living in Sacramento, just please acknowledge that it is a class-less, crappy, culture-less, pitiful excuse for a major metropolitan area. For example, I love to bowl, including almost 20 years of my life spent as a league bowler. I am honest enough however to admit that bowling is a disgusting, class-less activity that requires almost no physical ability whatsoever and it is most definitely not a sport. Sacramento is, depending on the measure you use, somewhere between the 19th and 25th biggest city in America and is the capitol of the most important state in the country, yet it is a national joke. From Jim Rome to Don & Mike to the guys on ESPN's "PTI," to national comedians, Sacramento is a punch-line and it would serve you all well to admit that we deserve every bit of it. I have now lived in the Sacramento area for 8 years, eclipsing my previous 7 years spent in Reno, Nevada. We still broadcast the show to Reno and visit regularly, including last week. While enjoying my former adopted home-town, I was stunned by all of the things Reno has (or doesn't have) that Sacramento should (or shouldn't have) that makes Reno so much nicer. Don't get me wrong… I am not nominating Reno for "city of the year" by any stretch of the imagination because it has plenty of faults. That, however, is what's so sad; Reno should have problems. It's a small city that just started to boom 10 years ago and is still going through growing pains. It sits in the middle of the desert and isn't even one of America's 100 biggest cities, yet it outclasses Sacramento by leaps and bounds using any barometer you choose. Before you maggots write and tell me "move back then, asshole," read my initial column. There are reasons people live in certain places at certain times. Trust me; there isn't a chance in Hell that I will stay here longer than is right for my family, but for as long as I am here I will at least have the courage to admit to all of the area's shortcomings. Alas, without further adieu, I present you the reasons that Reno is better than Sacramento: 1. In Reno the river that runs through town is an afterthought. In Sacramento, it's our identity. 2. If Reno were to make a list of beautiful things in its area to look at, the Truckee River wouldn't make the top 25. In Sacramento, it's the only thing. 3. Reno's river is blue… Sacramento's is brown… as in poop brown. 4. Reno has a better city slogan (Biggest Little City) highlighting the fact that there is a lot to do while still having a hometown feel. Sacramento, meanwhile, is the "City of Trees," highlighting the fact that there is nothing to do but find shade. 5. No state taxes in Reno. 6. Reno has great local sports bars and lots of them. In Sacramento, we think of TGI Friday's as a sports bar. 7. Reno has some (not a lot, but some) great restaurants. Sacramento has, if you add them all up... 1 ½. 8. The best basketball team in Reno (the University of Nevada Wolfpack) could beat the best basketball team in Sacramento (the Monarchs). 9. The second best basketball team in Sacramento (the Kings) wants to move to the same state that Reno is in while no one in Reno wants to move to Sacramento. 10. If you live in Reno and want to ski, it can be less than a 30 a minute drive. In Sacramento, it's an all day idea. 11. When you enter downtown Reno you drive under a famous, illuminated arch. When you drive into downtown Sacramento you say "when did I make a wrong turn into Mogadishu?" 12. The most fun you can have at a golf driving range in Reno is outdoors, under the lights at the Grand Sierra Resort as you hit balls into the water, listening to music drinking a beer. The most fun you can have at a golf driving range in Sacramento is not being eaten alive by mosquitoes. 13. The Lawlor Events Center outclasses Arco Arena by a mile, which isn't saying much for either town to be honest with you. 14. The outdoor concerts at the former Hilton outclass Cal Expo by a mile… and if you go to the Reno outdoor show, there is far less chance of being murdered. 15. Everything in Reno worth doing (concerts, bars, golf, restaurants) is 20 minutes away. In Sacramento, there is nothing worth doing within 20 minutes of where you live, regardless of where that is. 16. Reno people, overwhelmingly, know they live in a shit-hole and they admit and embrace it. No one in Reno gets butt-hurt when you point out the city's shortcomings. They either accept them or change them. 17. Reno doesn't have an Ikea. 18. When Reno hosts a major, nationally recognized event like the annual rib cook off, they put it in downtown Sparks where everyone is safe and has a great time. When Sacramento hosts a major, nationally recognized event like the Jazz festival, they put it in old town where no one is safe and the measure of whether or not they have a good time is determined by whether or not they got raped. 19. Reno's airport is actually close to something, like say, the city. 20. If you land at Reno's airport, you actually get your luggage in the same calendar year. 21. Reno prepared for, and continues to stay in front of, its' growth vis-à-vis it's highway system. While construction year round may be annoying, it's not nearly as annoying as living in a metropolitan area that continues to do nothing about its' traffic woes which will only get worse. 22. Reno girls are fun and easy and admit to being white trash. Sacramento girls are just white trash. 23. In Reno, the radio personalities kill themselves. In Sacramento, the radio personalities kill their listeners. (personal note; this one has a particular "ouch" factor for both cities and for many people close to me personally so I am, therefore, most proud of this one). 24. Tourists travel TO Reno. Sacramento residents are all tourists in waiting. 25. Reno is situated in a state that still leaves you the fuck alone. Along with no state taxes, Nevada understands that it's your choice to smoke, your right to own a gun, and your prerogative to spank your children. California thinks you're too stupid to keep your kids from drinking soda, too irresponsible to use a cell phone in the car and just plain too mean to the Earth. 26. Reno rhymes with "keno," a popular gambling game. Sacramento rhymes with "shitty town stuck in the shadows of the Bay Area." 27. You can order a drink 24 hours a day in Reno 28. Every downtown has its challenges. In Reno, they are offset by resort casinos. In Sacramento, they are offset by leaving. 29. Reno doesn't have the word "sac" as in "ball sack" in its name.
Drop me an email with your lame attempt to prove me wrong on any one of these reasons.
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