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You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something...

 

Monday, August 4th, 2008

THREE THINGS THIS WEEKEND THAT PISSED ME OFF

Okay, I admit it, almost nothing actually “pisses me off,” and even when I do get upset it’s either tame compared to most peoples’ standards, or exaggerated on my part for entertainment purposes. But, hey, everything is relative, right? Things that make me laugh at their stupidity, curse at their ignorance and roll my eyes and curse in total disgust at their arrogance all fall under the heading of “thing that piss me off.”

COMICALLY SENSELESS ROAD RAGE: As I was driving along I-80 Saturday morning (hoping to find Dawn lying in the center lane with a Wile E Coyote-type sign that read “hit me”) I witnessed a comical chain of events. I was in the third lane, meaning at this juncture of the freeway that I had two lanes to my left and two to my right. I was happy to be going about 75 Miles per hour, as were the cars to the left of me, slightly ahead of me. To the right of me were two vehicles slightly behind me going about 60-65 MPH, one being a motorcycle on the far right lane.

From seemingly no where came from behind me a truck clearly in a hurry. He changed lanes to my right, cutting in front of the vehicle that had been to my right and just behind me (doing about 90 I would guess) and began to speed up hoping to pass the motorcycle (now on his right), cut into the far right lane and then speed off in front of everyone, unabated. 

Seeing this, and apparently deciding that he was personally offended by this driver’s behavior, the motorcyclist sped up, thus boxing in the truck and making it impossible for him to change any more lanes. While doing this, the motorcyclist also gave the truck driver “the eye,” as if to say, “Hey buddy, not on my watch.” I laughed and thought about how childish this whole thing was on both of their parts, then watched as the truck made every maneuver possible to get around other cars for one sole purpose; so that he could speed up and get next to the motorcyclist again and promptly flip him off. Eventually, the two of them were side by side gesturing at each other, including the motorcyclist clearly challenging the truck driver to get off the freeway and fight him. At the next exit, they both got off and I contemplated whether or not I had some sort of societal obligation to double back and/or report these two clowns. I decided to let the herd thin itself. Incidently, if the guy in the truck was in such a damn hurry to get where he was going, how did he have time to divert his path and go fight some guy? People are so stupid.

WEATHER FORECASTERS: At the risk of engaging in one of the oldest “what’s up with that” routines, when in the hell are we all going to insist that weather forecasts are abolished? Calling meterology a science of any kind is an insult to scientists everywhere. If science were as unreliable as meteroligists, we’d all be dead. How is that I can walk outside every morning at 3am and. Based on 20 years of experience getting up at that time of day, tell my wife exactly what the weather will be that day, but people trained to do the same thing using computers can’t hit the broad side of a barn with their predictions? On Friday, we were told to expect a cool weekend with temps in the 80s. As I write this it’s Saturday afternoon and 101 degrees at my house. Nice job.

THIS ARTICLE: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25938404 Which somehow claims that we should be debating something that is clearly, unequivocally and convincingly not happening; an economic recession in America. The story goes out of its’ way to list all of the factual reasons that prove we not only not even close to being in a recession but we aren’t even statistically halfway to the start of one, and then defends the debate because people “feel” like we’re in one, further proving my point that America is filled with nothing but spoiled, lazy, arrogant, ignorant pukes. As has become typical, the story is designed to validate irrational emotions, rather than demand reasonable thought. In a nation where we tell people that their made-up pains caused by their emotional instability are real we should expect nothing less. In a country that devised “new math,” in which a child is allowed to say that two plus two is 5 for as long as he believes it is true, we should not be surprised. This is, after all, America, where feelings trump facts and no one is willing to tell people that their feeling are complete and utter nonsense.

There, I feel better. Too bad the world’s largest waste of time, the Olympics, kicks off this week. What a spectacle it will be; the world will not heal, the results will not matter and we will never again hear about or see these combatants ever again. For three weeks, we will lie to ourselves that none of what I just wrote is true, and then we will go back, as  world, to ignoring the human suffering of the Chinese people and the corruption of epic proportions that is the Far East politically.

For decades we have been told that America needed to join the “global” community. Now that we live in a nation that allows anger to trump reason, emotions to trump facts and shitty guesses to be defined as science, I suppose we have finally achieved what the world wanted us to; we have become just as mediocre as they are. Mission accomplished.

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ROB ARNIE & DAWN