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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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April 21 , 2003 The Asinine Things You People Say... Part 5 I have started referring to my "favorite" (insert sarcasm here) phone calls into the show as "Hall of Fame" calls. Anytime I see on my computer screen that someone is ready to make a complete ass of themselves by making a comment we have addressed 1,000 times before, I now use that term. Over the next few weeks, months, Hell maybe years, I will document them all for you in this forum. Week number five's asinine Hall of Fame entry is "You must have been turned down by a redhead once." First, some clarification. Years ago I was having a drink with a friend of mine when a redhead walked into the bar. I said "she's cute," and he replied by saying, "Yeah, but she's a redhead stinky crotch." Up until that moment, I believed that I was the only one who thought that. I had experienced two different redheaded women and both had a foul odor emanating from their nether regions. My friend confirmed his same experience with three different redheads in his past. After that, I began asking other male friends of mine and to a man, EVERY one of them had the same experience. A few years ago I went public with this on the show. Arnie had been asking his friends and got the same results. It was overwhelming. When we talked about it on the air the response was, and continues to be, 90% agreement, 10% disagreement. Now, obviously I don’t believe that every single red headed woman stinks. However, we’re talking a monstrous proportion of men all confirming the same thing. There has to be something to this. Recently, Prevention magazine published an article explaining that red headed women need up to 40% more anesthesia during surgery than others. They can’t explain it, but they do. This article has led us back to the topic of stinky crotches and red headed women. Perhaps there is some type of explanation related to DNA, pigmentation, etc. Either way, I would think red heads would want to know. Based on the calls we get, though, red heads are more interested in reacting in an absurd emotional way and calling me names and making outlandish accusations like “obviously you were turned down (or dumped) by a red head once and that’s why you’re doing this.
When someone accused me of doing something out of spite or vengeance, I immediately know that I am dealing with a spiteful, vengeful person. Obviously the people accusing me of ulterior motives are proponents of hurting those that hurt them. To them, it seems natural that if a certain person turns you down you’re going to talk badly about them. This is foreign to me. I often preach on the show about how worthless revenge is. It is one of the most negative emotions we have, right up there with envy. Nothing positive ever comes from it, and revenge turns you into an angry, bitter human being. For the record, my motives for discussing the crotches of redheads are simple; I am curious and MOST men I have talked to share that curiosity. My motives are not based in any type of negative reaction to any situation in my past with a redhead. In fact, I have never had a negative experience of any kind with a red head. Except for that awful stench…
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