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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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December 13th, 2004 CHOOSE A HAPPY HOLIDAY I learned long ago that almost every single thing that happens to me can be traced back to a choice I made. Car accidents, illnesses, debt, relationships gone bad, everything. It's what's called personal responsibility. My advice is always the same; you choose your holiday. If you hate being with your family, stop being with them. "But they'll guilt trip me, they'll cry, they'll call me selfish," people say in return. Fine, then you are choosing to be miserable at the holidays, rather than choosing to allow your family to call you names while you find a happier way to celebrate. "But if I don't spend the holidays with my family, I'll be alone and that's worse," others will say. Once again, then you are choosing between two negatives (in your opinion) and you need to accept the consequences for that choice. Much of the bitching and moaning people do about their "lots in life" are more about the bad choices they've made then they are about the choices presented to them. I would always, by the way, choose the devil you don't know. In other words, in the second example above most people would choose the miserable family over the lonely holiday because of their fear of being alone, and/or their fear of being chastised for preferring to be alone. I have always loved the holidays and I have always chosen to enjoy them. For the past many years, everyone in my life has known that when Thanksgiving rolls around, I am fairly happy to be anywhere, as long as it's understood that I will be cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I don't care whose house it's in or what state it's in, I will be cooking. People who are uncomfortable with that demand are not part of my Thanksgiving, which is fine with me, and if it's not fine with them, that's their problem. Once again, I choose to be happy at the holidays by putting myself first. Despite my long-standing ability to find a way to enjoy the holidays, I did undergo a catharsis about 10 years ago when I was working in Reno and planning on driving to the Bay Area for the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Lo and behold, a monster storm hit that Wednesday and my plans were foiled. A situation like this is the kind that many people decry as "God punishing them," or proof that they're just not meant to be happy. Whatever. I viewed it as a chance to either choose to whine, or find a way to enjoy my holiday anyway. I got numerous invitations from great friends, all of which I turned down. I had already decided that if I couldn't be with my family, I didn't need to find a substitute family to be with. Plus, My "I always cook" rule wouldn't work when accepting a last minute invite to someone else's home. So, I left work on Wednesday and went to the store to buy myself all I would need for a great turkey dinner, including a 12 pack of Heineken. Then I went to Home Depot and bought boxes of floor tiles. On Thanksgiving morning I was up watching football and working on my home's floors at 8am, drinking my beer and taking breaks to prep my turkey. All of my family and friends called throughout the day. My turkey was great, my floor looked amazing. It was one of the greatest holidays I've ever spent, and I did it all alone, all by myself…because I chose to have a happy holiday. I could've gone to a friend's home, had a moderately good time and allowed the day to slip into the obscurity of memories we never really recall. Instead, I made a conscious choice to find a way to have a happy holiday. No matter what your past is, you have the same opportunity. So my advice to you is simple, either choose a way to have a happy holiday, or accept that you've chosen to have a less than happy one and be ok with that choice. Either way, it's all on you.
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