May 30th, 2005
CONDOMS AND GUNS;
GREAT GIFTS FOR KIDS!
If you're a regular reader of this column, you know that I revel in watching people's hypocrisy, idiocy and ideology crashing together and creating a firestorm of ignorance. It is particularly entertaining to watch a group from the one side, like the left (liberals), see their very own logic used against them to endorse one of their most hated issues.
20 years ago, when the hysteria over STD's was at a fever pitch, religious nuts were outraged when liberal whackos began handing condoms out at American schools. The idea behind the handout was that kids were going to have sex anyways, so why not teach them how and encourage them to do it safely. Religious conservatives argued that not all kids were going to have sex, and abstinence was the only truly safe way to avoid getting an STD.
Now comes word from Arizona that schools are offering, as an elective, gun safety courses to high school kids.
Click Here to read the news story:
This time the shoes are on the opposite feet. Religious conservatives, long huge supporters of gun rights, are using the liberal left's logic against them by saying "hey, in this day and age kids are surrounded by guns (just like sex) and we would rather they know how to use them safely then get themselves killed!"
Liberal Whackos meanwhile are outraged that schools are endorsing, or at the very least, sanctioning gun usage in an age of all-time high youth violence. They say kids should be taught to walk away from guns, not know how to pick them up and use them (just like the religious nuts argue against the condoms). How hysterically funny is this?
There is one side that is more wrong than another here, which is why I am here. I always found the conservative's argument against condom distribution to be silly and uptight. By the time a kid is in high school, he at least knows what sex is and at the very least as a parent you should have already had "the" talk with him. Therefore, when the school hands out condoms to him, he can just refuse, or throw them away. The distribution of condoms by a school has no affect on whether or not a horny teen is going to give into his urges.
However, it is, in fact, the conservative side that is right on this issue because of a major difference. Schools who allow condom distribution to all students are violating what used to be a scared cow in America; the ability of a parent to control what their child learns and when they learn it. If a parent wants to try to shield their kid from sex and condoms, that should still be their right, even if I think it's an asinine way to raise a child. No one should have the right to outsmart an otherwise capable parent.
In Arizona, the gun safety course is an elective. Students take the course by choice and therefore are not exposed to guns by force. If the school were forcing all children to take this course, the anti-gun crowd would have a legitimate beef, but that's not what's going on. Just because a school offers Woodshop does not mean that it's telling all of their students to become carpenters.
The truth of the matter is this; the reason the anti-gun crowd is so fired up about this class is that it threatens to kill their cause. If we go around actually teaching people how to use guns safely and effectively, gun accidents, gun violence and needless death at the hands of stupid gun owners will virtually disappear. Once the guns are no longer the problem, these people who have turned their common-sense over to the belief that guns kill people (as opposed to irresponsible/criminal gun owners) will have nothing left to fight for, and by extension, nothing left to live for. The truth is that anti-gun advocates don't want people to learn gun safety, they want to control people's behavior by taking away their guns. They are no better than whacked out idealists who refuse to accept the fact that sexuality and sexual activity are beautiful natural things and people should be allowed to engage in sexual activity on their own terms. Rather, these people tell you that you just shouldn't have sex… you should abstain. Again, they insist on controlling your behavior.
Just for fun, let's lock them all in a room with nothing but guns and condoms…they'll either shoot each other or screw one another to death…either way, society wins.
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