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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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March 5th, 2007 THE DRIVE-THRU BILL OF RIGHTS
In America in the Post-Clinton era, it has become customary that whenever a problem or mistake is perceived to be made, the Modus Operandi of the offender is to apologize ad nauseam, offer some form of reparations and, if appropriate, enter some type of rehab facility. Don't get me wrong, I believe people should apologize when they honestly believe they have made a mistake. However, we have created a culture where the appearance of sorrow is most important, not the actual presence of it, and it has led to people over compensating on the side of contrition to the point where it is often not believable and/or is useless. Jet Blue made such an overreaching attempt at appearing contrite in the wake of their Valentine's Day massacre by creating and issuing a "Passenger's Bill of Rights." It's a document designed to provide passengers with a clear guide as to what the airline promises and how they will fix any mistakes they make. Nothing like preparing for failure is there? Think of this Passenger Bill of Rights as the airline equivalent of a pre-nuptial agreement. They hope and plan to fulfill their commitment to you, but they're so unsure of themselves and their ability to succeed that they thought it best to write down how they'll fix all the mistakes they plan on making. Not only is the impetus behind the Bill of Rights stupid, the whole concept is simply unnecessary. When a company screws up, it is then beholden to react in a way that makes customers want to return to said company. If they do a good job, business will flourish. If the company fails, the market (customers) will decide that the company must be punished by choosing to not patronize the company any longer. Jet Blue, or any other company, shouldn't need a script of how to deal with mistakes and/or accidents. This is like creating a list of table manners and posting it in every Morton's Steakhouse; it's simply unnecessary and also a trite insulting. Additionally, there is the issue of demeaning the importance of the actual Bill of Rights, one of the founding documents of our nation and most important peaces of literature ever written anywhere. People already walk around believing, wrongly, that they are entitled to things that they are not, so we certainly do not need to add fuel to the fire. Driving, marriage and access to healthy foods are recent news-worthy examples of things that are not rights, they are privileges and the government should play no role in your access to any of them. Similarly, you have no right to great customer service from an airline or anyone else and perpetuating such a mindset is flat wrong. Far be it from me, however, to swim upstream. "If you can't beat 'em join 'em," right? If we're all going to sit around and accept an idiotic premise such as a list of rights we each have as airline passengers, why stop there? We should immediately create a Bill of Rights for customers of all businesses; BANKING: I have the right to not be robbed while executing transactions at an ATM machine. All banks will provide 24 hours private security guards at every single ATM in the nation. Should the bank fail to provide this security, it will burn itself down voluntarily. GROCERY: I have a right to fresh baked bread. All stores will immediately bake fresh loaves of all varieties of bread every 3 minutes. Those who don't will provide me with my own personal bakery chef at my home for one full week. CONCERTS: I have a right to expect the act I am seeing to appear on stage at the time it says they will on my ticket. If they don't, my money will be refunded and I will receive a private concert at my home performed by the act for free. TELEVISION: I have a right to be able to channel surf without all of the stations playing commercials at the same time. All stations must immediately figure out a way to never play a commercial when any other station is also playing a commercial. Should I ever discover that two stations are simultaneously playing commercials, I will receive a free 50 inch plasma TV in the mail the following day. FAST FOOD DRIVE THRUS: I have a right to be able to place my order in a timely manner and therefore not be subjected to self-important customers in front of me who fail to pull their vehicle forward appropriately, thus depriving me of my right at a cheeseburger. If I am stranded between the ordering board and the car in front of me and thus, not able to place my order for more than 23 seconds, my meal will be free. RESTAURANTS: I have the right to enjoy my meal in peace. All restaurants will immediately provide private dining booths to all diners. If noise seeps through the booth, the meal is free. Shall I continue? Sadly, many people will read the above ideas and say, "Hey that's not a bad idea." It is a bad idea, though, and it further adds to the dumbing-down of our nation. We continue to spiral towards an existence of no personal responsibility and complete government oversight and control… sort of a Karl Marx-made utopia. While the Jet Blue Bill may seem to be the exact kind of "private sector" answer Libertarians like me would love, the fact that it is rooted in such stupidity makes it a wash and further demonstrates that we live in a time when people believe that falling on the sword is more important than staying alive long enough to actually fix the problem.
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