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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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October 22nd, 2007 FORCING YOUR STUPIDITY ON OTHERS I fully understand that most people view life through their own prism, based solely on their own experiences. This is especially common when someone is young and immature; a time in our lives when we assume that the world revolves around us and that everyone experiences life exactly the way we do. For example, an immature teenager will say something stupid like “no one listens to classical music,” when what the idiot teen really means is “no one that I know who matters to me listens to classical music.” Somewhere along the way some of us realize that there is a whole world out here that provides an undocumented variance of opinion, experience and perspective. We also realize that words and expressions like “everyone,” “no one,” and “all the time,” actually have no place in the real world. Words matter and it is through ignorant words and phrases that we display our stupidity and lose our legitimacy. Upon these realizations we also come to discover that the reason we previously had such small views of the rest of the world was because we had surrounded ourselves with people that had similarly small views. Most people choose friends who view the world and life in a very similar fashion. This creates the phenomenon called “group think,” in which “everyone” in the group thinks with one brain and cumulatively believes that everyone else in the world thinks the same way, save a few “weirdoes.” As we mature (those of us who do) we come to realize that every day we are alive, we actually know less. Egos are checked at the door as we see over and over again that our expectation of the world is completely inaccurate and flawed. If we’re lucky, it only takes a few times of saying to a friend “I bet ya…” as the opening line to predicting the out come of something that goes the completely opposite way of what we predicted. We learn that we have no idea how things will turn out and just because they turned out a certain way before, doesn’t mean they’ll turn out the same way next time, especially in a case where multiple variables can (and usually do) effect the outcome each time. I get painfully tired of being told how my life will turn out and how I will feel about things by people who have not learned these lessons. It takes such an unmitigated amount of gall and arrogance to force your stupidity on someone else that I truly wonder how such people can live with themselves on a daily basis. To be so out of control in your own mind and life that you feel the need to try to control other peoples’ lives through fake and (more times than not) wrong predictions must be a truly miserable existence. Don’t get me wrong; I am not conducting an exercise in arrogant hypocrisy here. There is nothing wrong with the properly crafted input of close friends and advisers. It’s a whole other thing entirely to be told how something will turn out, especially if it comes from a source you didn’t ask. Forcing your inability to deal with the world and the inadequacies you’ve brought into it onto someone else is truly pathetic. There are a variety of standard phrases that illustrate this type of behavior. “That will never work,” is one of my favorites which reflects the speaker’s own incompetence and inability to believe that someone else will accomplish something that the speaker is (or would be) a failure at. “You shouldn’t criticize until you’ve walked in their shoes,” and all the variances of that phrase is of course the dumbest thing ever said on planet earth, bar none. It is also nothing more than a coward’s way of not engaging in conversation. Setting the bar for having opinions at a level that demands experience is the speaker’s way of saying “I have no way to defend this position and I am uncomfortable with the factually correct points you are making so I am going to attack you rather than offer a credible defense.” Recently, I have heard a few very specific phrases uttered my way as commentary on decisions I have made. Without fail, they have come from people whose opinion I did not seek, and almost always from an imbecile. YOU’RE GOING TO REGRET (FEEL BAD ABOUT) THAT: This is a catch-all that can be used in a variety of situations to malign various decision you make in your life, but not matter how you slice it, the speaker is calling you an idiot. Basically, you are being told that you have not properly thought through the consequences of your actions and/or that you are incapable of handling them when they come to pass. I have heard this occasionally in my life as it relates to my relationship with my father. I love my Dad to death and he did a spectacular job of raising me. We can go weeks, nay months, without seeing or talking to each other and not lose a beat. We love one another immensely but more importantly, we respect each other and our lives and realize that we don’t need to dote over one another to cherish one another. My Dad, by the way, lives less than 90 minutes away and we see each other less than 5 times a year. When people hear this, many of them respond by telling me I will regret this when he is gone. Upon further review, I usually discover that the speaker either lost one of their parents at a young age and resent those of us who have had ours into our 30’s and/or the speaker never had a close enough relationship with their parents before they died and they are envious of what I have with my dad. In rare cases, it is as simple as the speaker is one of these morons who is afraid of all things related to death and dying, a defect that I do not possess thankfully. Regardless of the motivation, the whole “you’ll regret that,” thing is nothing more than a way of people trying to cover up their own inadequacies. In reality, what the speaker is really saying (but doesn’t realize it and/or can’t admit it) is “I wish I had the courage to be as self-respectful and honest as you are but since I don’t, I am going to try to make you feel bad by predicting something that is un-provable which will make me look like an authority and hopefully make you second guess yourself and feel as badly about yourself as I feel about myself.” YA GOTTA HAVE A POOL: For the past year, my wife and I have been designing our backyard. We have gone through various stages of the process, trying as best we can to design a space that will accommodate our lifestyle while also keeping the house what it was from the beginning; a solid investment. To accomplish both those goals we must spend as little as we have to while creating a beautiful oasis that we love to live in and will ultimately be palatable to a new owner or renter. Throughout the past year, a variety of people have asked how the process was going and each time would at some point say “Ya gotta have a pool.” No, Jackass, I don’t gotta have a pool. YOU may desire to have a pool, but my wife and I do not for a variety of reasons. For starters, pools are horrifically bad financial investments. Upon resale, you will never make back more than 1/3rd of what you spent so unless you plan to live in the house forever (which we won’t), a pool is nothing more than a grandiose lavish lifestyle expense. I fully support such purchases, but clearly the item in question must be desired. I would prefer to spend such money on a sports car. Secondly, my wife and I HAD a pool in our last home. We know the drill and it is not for us, so we have never even considered having another one in this house. What the speakers are really saying here is “I am an ignorant buffoon who has no idea how the financial end of the real estate market works and I place value on people based not on their own personal reasons for making decisions, but solely on status symbols like pools and how many grottos they have. Further, since the only way I can have fun on hot summer day is to lie around a pool, get drunk and take a dip now and then, I am going to force that upon you and presume that there is no other way to live because I am small and narrow minded.”
THAT’S A WASTE OF MONEY: I have actually heard this my entire adult life, even though I have not been financially well-off that entire time, which is perhaps why I loathe it so much. Certainly everyone is entitled to their opinion about what money should be spent on, but I hasten to point out that all of us waste money. The definition of wasting money is spending it on something that doesn’t produce a net return. Simply put, anything short of sustenance and safe investing are all wastes of money. Cars, boats, almost all clothing, Starbucks, Christmas decorations and cigars are all wastes of money in the abstract. I am appalled when people try to force their lack of appreciation onto others’ interests by narrow-mindedly defining the interest as “a waste of money.”
HE’LL GET HIS: First of all, how do you know? Do you have a direct line personally to the Karma Sheriff? Maybe he won’t get his which means that you are making a false statement for a purpose as shallow as puffing up your own chest and looking like a “big man.” This phrase, “he’ll get his” is another catch-all used to look down at people who, in the eye of the speaker, is committing some type of societal evil, ranging from cutting people off in traffic to molesting a child and everything in between. The truth is that often people don’t “get theirs,” as far as we are to know. This, of course, provides a cowardly safety net to many of you who will simply continue to utter this stupidity while believing that some sort of Karma sheriff or vengeful God will carry out your version of justice, thus insuring that people “get theirs.” I have neither the time nor inclination to ring my hands over the fates of others. I am far more concerned why so many of you seem to find joy and happiness in the suffering of others, as though it makes your life better. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing a guy trip and fall as much as the other guy but seeing someone punished or suffering is hardly my idea of nirvana. Alas, I once again find myself trying to make sense of the non-sensical. Those of you hell bent on forcing your stupidity on others are certainly not inclined to pause a moment and consider a common sense approach to life so I’ll not waste my time. I’ll just wait for the next dolt to approach me and utter some total nonsense. What a life.
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