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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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July 10th, 2006 "JUST HAVE FUN AND ENJOY THE DAY" I have a new sarcastic mantra for the second half of 2006. It will be used anytime anyone has any type of complaint, legitimate or not, and chooses to voice that complaint to anyone. I realize there are a lot of superlatives in that mission statement but I must apply my sarcasm fairly, so therefore, I literally mean anyone and anytime. It can't and won't matter whether someone is complaining about being cut-off in traffic, short-changed by a cashier or robbed at gunpoint. From now on, when anyone chooses to complain about any of those things or anything else ever, I will simply look at them and say, "Just try to have fun and enjoy the day." Summer vacation 2006 did not get off to an idiot free start. Arnie, Dawn's husband "Dumb-Dumb," our medicine man Dr. Ron and I went to beautiful Truckee, California for a round of golf at Coyote Moon, a tough course nestled into the mountains of the Sierra surrounded by trees. The course is only open 6 months of the year thanks to Mother Nature so we try (at least we used to) to get up there three times per summer to play. At $150 each per round, that is no small commitment. We teed off on a Saturday morning at 7am, making us the third group of 4 to go out that morning. We finished our round of golf at 11:45am, 4 hours and 45 minutes later. We waited to hit every single one of our shots on every single hole the entire day. Rather than being able to drive to our ball, hit them and move along, we had to stand around like idiots waiting for the players in front of us to move along to their next shots and out of our way. There is an incorrect attitude in the world of recreational golf, propagated by the Taj Mahal of golf courses, Pebble Beach, that a round of golf for four players should take 4 hours and 30 minutes. This is completely incorrect. 4 hours and 30 minutes is not the target, it is the maximum amount of acceptable time it should take. You should never, ever be on a golf course longer than 4 ½ hours. Unfortunately, that concept has been bastardized and dumbed down in the name of cowardice and a lack of commitment to customer service and the game of golf itself. The truth is that a foursome of players, who know how to play the game, without rushing, should play a round of 18 holes in exactly 4 hours. It can be done quicker, but 4 hours is the correct pace. Regardless of that goal, the fact of the matter is that if a foursome is on a golf course and is playing faster than the groups in front of them because of their accelerated ability, that foursome should be allowed to play through (past) the slower groups and continue with their round unobstructed by the slower players. This way, everyone can play at their desired paces and everyone is happy. Unfortunately, this solution requires etiquette, class and courage on the part of other players and golf courses and these qualities are, apparently, extinct. Upon informing the Coyote Moon employee known as the "marshal" (a meaningless moniker given to a person who rides around a golf course pretending to care about the pace of play) that we were waiting for every shot, having our pace of play disrupted and that we could clearly see that the groups in front of us were both horrible and lacked etiquette, he sprung into action. The proper thing for the marshal to do was choose a course of action from the following choices: A) Inform the two groups in front of us that they need to accelerate their pace B) Inform the groups in front of us that in the interest of everyone enjoying their days, they were going to have to step aside for 8 minutes while we (the group behind them) played past them C) Inform the groups in front of us that because they were slowing down the pace of play they would have to skip the next hole to put an acceptable buffer between groups (allowing us to play our shots without waiting) and they would have to pick up their pace. I remind you, these are not choices made up by me, but rather these are the choices demanded by centuries of pre-established golf etiquette. The marshal chose (D), which was to do nothing, explain that the groups in front of us weren't very good, and that we should all just "have fun and enjoy the day." There's nothing like having Deepak Chopra as your golf marshal. It is no shock to me that our politically correct world has seeped its way onto our golf courses, it is just disappointing. I guess I should just be thankful it's taken this long. For decades in our society, we have been telling people who are better, faster, stronger, and more able that they need to stop being so good, rather than challenging those who are behind to find a way to get better. This is why America is slowly fading off into the sunset allowing societies like India and China to pass us by in the next 50 years as the true leaders of this world. In those societies they tell the more talented to continue to thrive and get further ahead and allow the rest of the schmucks to follow well behind. That's what we used to do in America before we became a cowardly nation that believes everyone should feel good. Since we have decided that regardless of the circumstances all that matters is to "have fun and enjoy the day," I have decided to start using that everywhere I go and in every situation. You see, when a golf marshal says that to me what he is basically saying is that my time and my enjoyment and my feelings are meaningless. What he really meant was that he wanted us to have fun and enjoy the day on HIS terms, not ours. He is basically saying that my time is not important that I should have fun and enjoy the day because it's only time that I'm losing. The beauty of logic is that if he wants to employ that way of thinking, then we must apply to it to every situation. Since my time isn't important to him, then all peoples' problems are not important to me. For example, when I come upon a car accident next week and a man is crying over the death of his wife at the hands of a drunken driver I will put my arms around his shoulder, look in his eyes and tell him to "just have fun and enjoy the day." There is no difference. Many people will say there is, but those people will be wrong. In life, ALL things are relative. There is no way to justify your way of viewing the world by dismissing what is important to others. If my time is not important to you, than how in the world can you tell me that a stranger's wife must be important to me? She isn't… people die every day. The next time a group of people are taken hostage I believe that we can save millions of dollars by not deploying the SWAT team and simply telling all of the hostages to just have fun and enjoy the day. After all, it's only their time that is being taken, since we all know that they'll be released or killed anyways. Dog just got run over? Too bad… just have fun and enjoy the day. It's only a dog. Failed out of school? Too bad… just have fun and enjoy the day. It's only your future. Thanks Coyote Moon for saving me the hardship of ever having to drive to your horribly run golf course ever again. By the way, we played the very next day at the Ridge in Auburn, a course equal in difficulty, and as the first group out, our foursome played in 3 hours, 45 minutes… imagine that. No bother, though, because Coyote Moon, you have helped me immensely. I have gained the very thing that you dismissed as unimportant; more time. More time to play better managed golf courses in the area. I'm sure that you won't miss me or my friends or anyone else that I would have recommended play your course. I wish you nothing but the best in all that you do in life… but, should by some horrible stroke of bad luck, your course go bankrupt or burn down or be swept away by a freak avalanche… if anything ever goes badly for you, just repeat your course's mantra and my new found one: Just have fun and enjoy the day.
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