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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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October 16th, 2006 The Dishonesty of "the Gimme" I try to be honest to a fault. Being accused of being mean or insensitive is meaningless to me, but being called a liar is unacceptable. Meanness and insensitivity are subjective terms that are often insecure peoples' ways of acknowledging honesty. Dishonesty is not subjective because regardless of the fact that people try to distort the truth, in the end, the truth is the truth. End of story. I believe in honesty, trust and loyalty and if you must sacrifice your loyalty to someone (which is required sometimes) you should at least be honest about it. I care not about peoples' opinions of my viewpoints, lifestyle or outlook but I take very seriously any claim of dishonesty. A lie is a statement you know to be false and I strive to tell very few of them. I am neither so naïve nor altruistic that I claim not to lie, I simply strive to do so rarely and in relatively meaningless situations (for example, telling someone in a social setting that their horrible dinner is good to spare their feelings in front of others is a meaningless lie). This is a quality I was taught by my mother and I proudly acknowledge it as one of my core beliefs. One of the places many of us learn about honesty and life in general is the sporting world. It is sad that many amongst us, particularly women (forgive me my sexism, but again, I would rather be honest that sensitive) demean, impugn and ignore the importance of sports in our lives and our development as children. There is simply no other form of recreation that so perfectly illustrates life as does sport. Shopping, sex, eating, driving, sleeping and reading all lack vital fundamentals of life and are done as escapes from reality, not mirrors of it. Television and movies fail at every turn to present real and accurate reflections of the world in which we live, yet sports are the true constant. No where else do we learn the following fundamental truths about life: **Life is not fair **Sometimes the better person/player doesn't win **Politics is a given **Teamwork matters, but you can only control your own performance and behavior **The harder you try the better you are **Winning matters **Losing sucks **God given talent is a gift to be beholden, not taken for granted **How you play the game matters, but winning matters most **Losers hate and resent winners, and that's part of the fun of winning **Everything that matters is hard **Losers get fewer chances and get left behind unless they become winners **Whining is not allowed, tolerated or accepted **Find your passion, hone your skill and excel **Adjust to and overcome the circumstances you are dealt
Get the Idea?
No sport mirrors life more than golf. It is a game built on honesty and integrity. In the end, you are playing against yourself, even if you are playing against other people. You call penalties on yourself, you assess strokes against yourself and you count your own score. When you write down your score, it is truly a moment in time that is between you and yourself and no one else. Or at least it should be. As golf has grown popular, more and more people have begun to lie about it and justify the lying. Lots and lots of people play golf not for the challenge of the game but rather so they can brag about their alleged score to their friends, peers and co-workers. I have grown tired and sickened of hearing people in the hallways on Monday mornings brag about their golf scores of 77, 74 and 69, when I have played with these same people and know that they are golfers who lie about their scores and moreover, lack the ability to honestly shoot the scores they are proclaiming. I used to rationalize their dishonesty in my mind by believing that perhaps they didn't know the rules of the game as intricately as I, but I realize now how untrue that is. They know the rules, they know how to keep score, they have just decided that their image and appearance and ability to brag are more important to them than their honesty. It's akin to the corporate backstabber who will stop at nothing to achieve promotions he doesn't deserve simply for the fake and false praise of others, and it's equally as pathetic. There is no bigger, glaring form of lying and dishonesty in life and in golf than what we call the "gimme." In life, the "gimme" is simply exemplified by the sales clerk who mistakenly gives you too much change of fails to charge you for an expensive item. I prefer the more elaborate example of keeping up with the Joneses. Millions of Americans own homes, cars and furniture they can't afford and didn't earn simply so that they can present the appearance of accomplishment. These families have used other peoples' money (credit) foolishly running up debts that are, in many cases, insurmountable, solely to impress not just their friends but total strangers as well. This is the ultimate life gimme; living a lie that you didn't earn so others will think more of you. In golf, the "gimme," is a putt that is allegedly so close to the hole that there is no way the golfer can't get it in the hole so therefore the time it would take to have that golfer putt it is a waste…so the ball is picked up, the score is counted and on you go to the next hole. Some golfers believe that anything less than 2 feet away is close enough that time doesn't need to be wasted on putting it, others believe that as much as 4 feet falls under the same heading. The problem is that in life as in golf, there are no gimmes. Everything must be and should be earned… just ask Greg Norman, the Chicago Cubs, Hitler or Napoleon about that; nothing is guaranteed and it ain't over till it's over. Recently Dawn's husband and I played a round of golf in which we played no gimmes. Everything had to be putted. On the last hole, the 18th green, Gary putted the ball to within 2 feet of the hole. In any other non-tournament setting, especially on the last hole of the day, almost any other golfer would have assumed the putt to be good and counted it as such, walking away. Gary putted and missed… and then missed 4 more times, adding a total of 5 strokes to his score. That's the difference between a 79 and an 84… or a 95 and a 100. In other words, it's dramatic. It may be an extreme example, but it's a real one. I had missed at least 3 putts inside of 2 feet throughout the round that day as well. Certainly there are exceptions (as with the innocent lie) to the strident gimme rules in my world; not putting a 4-5 footer isn't a total lie if: **You decided before the round that the score wouldn't count, that you wouldn't repeat the score to anyone and you weren't interested in working on your putting that day.
That's it… end of list of when it's ok. For those of you who are golfers I must add this note as well; mulligans are cheating too. There's no such thing a do-over in golf or life so get over yourself and count your strokes. One final note; absent a competitive round of match play, no one can give you a putt. I am comically entertained when watching guys play golf as one jerk announces to his buddy that the buddy's putt is "good." In a game that encompasses challenging yourself, who is the jerk to say what is or isn't good? Many times I have had people announce that my 3 foot putts were good and I simply walked over to them and putted them in (or missed them). Unless I was absent for some swearing in ceremony that announced people on a golf course are the boss of me, I am not interested in what their conscience says is or isn't a gimme in my life. As I watch life and golf, I have grown appalled at the gimme. I watch people claim that 5 foot putts are assumed to be in and then get mad if they putt them and miss, which is odd, since the missed putt proves the validity of forcing the golfer to go for it. Truth is, they aren't mad at having to putt the ball, they are mad because they've been caught missing. At that moment in time, all of their short putts from rounds gone past have been exposed for what they truly were; not guaranteed. The ultimate truth is that in life as in golf, there are no gimmes, just liars.
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