 |
| Rob's Soapbox | ||
|
Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
||
|
||
|
April 9th, 2007 GLOBAL WARMING HAS JUMPED THE SHARK For those of you that are under the age of 30, I should begin by first explaining the phrase "jump the shark." In the 1970s, "Happy Days" was one of the most popular TV shows in America, anchored by the Cunningham family and the uber-cool Fonzie, as portrayed by Henry Winkler. Eventually, as with all TV shows, major characters began to move on, stories became silly and plots thin. During one particularly awful episode, a series of dopey circumstances led Fonzie to attempt to leap over a shark while riding water skis and wearing his trademark leather jacket (the latter point is particularly stupid since salt water would destroy such apparel, especially 30 years ago). The episode was so painfully reaching and horrible, that it came to symbolize the moment when a long running successful TV show has reached its peak and the decline as begun. Since then, the phrase has been applied to a myriad of situations, movements and on-going storylines that have seen better days. Now, as Bugs Bunny would say, "on with the show:" The smartest thing my partner Dawn ever said was years ago when she described me as one of the few people on Earth who sees the world "the way it should be." We were discussing one of the many subjects on the slate of current events that was driving me nuts at the time (I don't specifically recall which one and it's not important for the purpose of this column) and my frustration at the population's inability to grasp the problem and the solution was especially high. Dawn suggested that my heart-attack level of exasperation was related not to an inability to control people, or even an inability to convince people, but rather to the fact that I feel like I even have to. Being of extreme and enormous intelligence, and possessing almost none of the foibles that most humans do, I am able to put aside ideologies and recognize that I am not defined by a political party, a religious sect or even by my beliefs. I am defined by the fact that I always choose the side of right, which is why I can see the world the way it should be. You're welcome, by the way. When I look at some of our most pressing issues as a society (gun control, abortion, environmentalism, child rearing, et al) I see the natural solution. I see what seems to me to be the most obvious answer, proven by either common sense, history or both. It's almost akin to watching a child try to figure out which letter block goes between A and C; you want to reach down and give him the "B" but you know you can't and shouldn't. Unfortunately, it's harder than that for me. In my case, it's like watching the exact same letter block quandary trying to be solved by a 13 year old, who should obviously know better. Similarly, there are countless times where arguments are mitigated with asinine ideas that have no hopes of solving anything. Putting bike helmets on children doesn't stop them from being killed by their own stupidity or irresponsible drivers. Banning cell phone usage in cars doesn't lower the accident rate. Taking away innocent, law abiding Americans' guns doesn't stop crime, it increases it. On and on the list goes. Thus, I am forced to find ways to practice self preservation by accepting that which I cannot control. One of my new favorite pastimes is watching these idiotic ideas fall flat on their face. When Washington D.C. made it illegal for its citizens to own handguns anywhere in the city, I just sat back and waited. Oh sure, it took 25 years, during which Washington D.C. was the overwhelming, not even close, murder capitol in America, until they started re-thinking their stupidity, but at least I was able to take glee in watching the carnage. Another way I can soothe my own existence is by watching the masses work themselves into a fever pitch, attempting to change the country based on ignorant mob rule (I call it that because in this country 95% of the mob is just there because they want to be part of something popular, not because they understand the nuances of whatever it is they are supporting) and then seeing them stumble and fail miserably by crying wolf too loudly and too often. We saw this 15 years ago when the Clintons tried to impose universal health care on America and it failed miserably. Prior to that moment, "everyone" said it was time for the government to provide the nations' health care, but once the details seeped out and the movement reached its apex, it failed on its face. We have reached such an apex on the topic of Man made global warming. I have documented, over and over again, the painful arrogance that is demonstrated in the global warming argument; the idea that we, as humans, can destroy something we don't even understand (the Earth) is galling to me. "The Earth Will Always Win" -- 10/2/05 Additionally, global warming has also become the perfect storm in relation to the ignorant mob rule mentality of America. Millions of people claim to be worried about global warming, yet when pressed beyond the surface layer of having the image of caring about the earth, we find that the overwhelming majority of people who claim to be concerned really know absolutely nothing about the debate. When debates like this rage, as I reach a greater level of maturity, understanding and maybe even Zen, I try as best I can to speak my mind, calmly present my irrefutably logical dissent and then sit back and wait for the "jump the shark" moment. Such a moment has arrived, depicted by recent tell-tale signs. For starters, one sign that a movement has jumped the shark is when they push just a little too far. Crying wolf is one thing, crying unicorn is another. Two such events occurred over the past two weeks as yet two more Chicken Little reports were made public. These reports, however, didn't just claim that the sky was falling and it was all the fault of hairspray and air conditioners, these reports upped the ante and reached a level of hysteria that will make more than a few people turn their head sideways, squint with one eye and say aloud, "ok c'mon now, they are going a little far with this, aren't they?" One new report claims that in relation to global warming we are now on a "Highway to Extinction." Hyperbole to the highest of levels of ignorance. Ironically, one of the reasons this will backfire on the global warming crowd is related to another group I get frustrated with; religious zealots. The God fearing amongst us have begun to climb onboard the global warming bandwagon, under the guise that Jesus would be nicer to the Earth, blah blah blah. However, once the claim is made that anyone, other than the almighty can destroy the Earth, the jig will be up and the crumbling of the pyramid shall begin. So begins the crumbling. "We are on a Highway to Extinction" The other report, just released Friday, went even further, proclaiming that Global Warming will essentially push us to the brink of an all out global holocaust by causing flood, fire, rain, wind and other biblical type catastrophes. "The End of the World is Near!" according to the global warming crowd...
"The New York Times" is off the bandwagon... (click here if the link above is acting like a jerk) Finally, perhaps as though Providence were finally interceding on the whole debate, we awoke this past weekend to one of the coldest Easters on record. The Weather Channel's website homepage declared "Easter feels like Christmas," and parents around the nation wondered aloud about their children having to bundle up for egg hunts. Common sense dictates that for the Earth to be in the midst of a massive, deadly, fatal march towards warming that we shouldn't be seeing weather maps awash in light blue on Easter weekend. To their credit, the global warming crowd will stand their ground and use what I call "reverse logic" to try to claim, eschewing science completely, that the cold Easter is actually proof that the world is getting warmer. By the time you realize how asinine their claim is, they've hidden behind an iceberg so you can't find them to ask a follow-up question. The global warming crowd's laughable attempt to use "reverse logic"
|
||