Monday, June 22nd, 2009

I'M ONLY HALF RIGHT

We are just over a week away from the halfway mark of 2009. On one hand that seems staggering; wasn’t it just Christmas? On the other hand, it’s hard to believe that we’ve lived through less than 6 months of the Obama administration.

July 1 will mark the halfway point of the year. Alas, we’ll be on vacation (PAID), and I won’t have time to review with you, on the air, how the year has shaped up thus far as it relates to things I prognosticated. Fear not, faithful reader, I will still bravely face my predictions like man; this time, in writing:

            I said unemployment in America in 2009 would hit 10% or higher, despite the dopey stimulus package which has, of course, stimulated nothing. In May, the unemployment rate hit 9.4% and President Obama, who had previously said his stimulus plan would keep unemployment below 9%, has now said it will eclipse 10% this year (that means he’s seen the data and he knows it’s coming)…it’s not too early to call this one for me. Check.

            I said General Motors would wind up in bankruptcy. Check.

            I said Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers would win the NBA championship. Check.

            I said President Obama would move America toward Socialism and government controlled everything faster than any president in history. Less than 6 months in, the government owns and runs General Motors, the FDA is regulating tobacco, Obama has spent more money than any president in the history of the nation already, and he is on a national campaign to literally control your personal health care decisions. While most of America won’t wake up until it’s far too late, no right-minded American would disagree with my prediction. In fact, the only argument left for intellectuals now is whether or not a majority of our people actually support socialism, which is looking more and more likely. Check for the prediction, demerit for America.

            I said gas prices would eclipse $5 per gallon again this year. Thanks, by the way, for all of your snarky emails claiming I am a total idiot as gas hovered at $2 per gallon or below and every so-called expert (the same experts that never saw our current economic meltdown coming) said gas will stay below $3 per gallon all year. Here we are, a week from the halfway mark of 2009 and gas is above $3 per gallon; Iran, the world’s major controller of oil within the Strait of Hormuz, is in turmoil and Israel is ready to bomb said country. It’s far too early for me to claim victory, but I am confident…no check…yet.
Now, to be fair, I also predicted that Milk would win the best picture at the Academy Awards, which it did not.

            Other predictions are still lingering; I said a member of the RAD production team would get engaged, that Katie Couric would keep her job (despite record low ratings), that Michael Vick would be on an NFL team, and that Ted Kennedy, Don Rickles and Merle Haggard would all pass. So far, I can’t claim victory on any of those; I guess that proves that I’m only half right; of course, the year is only half over.

UPDATE - Rob also correctly predicted that Danny Veltri from Gordon Ramsay's show "Hells Kitchen" would win.