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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
December 1 , 2003
Making the Holiday Happy III
As they say in the sports world, "It's crunch time." Christmas is almost here and millions of people are about to get stressed out and miserable. Much of the agony will come from shopping hassles, and I have no tolerance for any of you who fall prey to this Holiday trap. This should be a joyous time of the year, and if you are going to allow your poor planning or other people's stubbornness to screw it up, then you have only yourself to blame.
Let's start with you. First of all, if you are one of these people who never gets what they want on Christmas morning, you have only yourself to blame. Why you ask? Simply; either you have surrounded yourself with selfish people (see previous soapboxes for help on this one), or you are one of these "Oh, don't worry about me," people when it comes to the holidays. Y'know the type…you ask them over and over again what they want for Christmas and they always say "nothing." Fine. Then that's what you get, nothing. If you aren't going to be courageous and forthcoming enough to speak up and ask for what you want, then don't be surprised when you get tripe. By the way, if you believe that it's rude to tell people which gifts you want, it's time to grow up. There is nothing rude about voicing your desires, and besides, if people are asking you they WANT to buy for you, so be gracious and give them a few ideas.
Now on to other people (which of course will ultimately come back to you, since I am such a firm believer in personal responsibility). Many people get very frustrated with having to buy gifts for other people for a myriad of reasons. Some people wait until the last minute and then can't find what they wanted to buy for someone. There is no excuse for this in today's age of the Internet, so if you are one of those people, screw off. You are a lost cause.
Other people get annoyed because their loved ones don't tell them what they want. Fair enough, respond by telling them they're getting cash. I did this once years ago and it snapped the person right into reality. You should have seen his face when he opened his Christmas present on Christmas morning and got $150 in ones. I explained that since he was such a selfish prick that he didn't want to share with me what he wanted, I just gave him the cash amount I would've spent on him that year. I also told him that he was off my list for next year because I found his holiday attitude to be sullen and self-loathing and I wanted nothing to do with it. He later told me that because he hadn't told anyone what he wanted, my cash was the second best gift he got that year. The best, he said, was my lecture which made him realize how inconsiderate he was being to his family. To this day, he's still on my list, and I get a gift "wish-list" every year from him around Halloween (I created a monster).
Finally, there are those of you who make a lame-ass attempt to find a certain gift for someone, then give up after two stores and get them something else. You suck. Christmas is about love and about giving, two things which are supposed to require work. Going to Foot Locker and Champs does not entail work. If your loved one wants a very specific item and has given you plenty of time to find it, put some effort into it, it's worth it.
In the end, you will hear me preach the same message over and over again. The holidays are what you make them. If they suck, it's your fault and no one else's.
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