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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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June 5 th, 2005 M-E-A-N-I-N-G-L-E-S-S
First things first. I actually saw the last 20 minutes of this "riveting" competition as it was down to three children spelling their Underoos off. I even decided to pretend to root for the girl since she was from my hometown of Pleasanton, California. She lost. I got over it. When she lost, by the way, her father gave her a big hug when she came off the stage. her mother acted as though her daughter had leprosy. Nothing warms the heart quite as much as a parent whose child loses the spelling bee and then treats that child as though she blew up the Space Shuttle. I'm all for teaching your children to win, but let's teach them to win something that actually matters, shall we? This brings us to the meaningless event as a whole. I understand that the Spelling Bee winner gets somewhere around $28,000 in scholarships (and a bunch of educational books…fun!) which, by the way, is why the Mom in the previous paragraph is so pissed at her daughter; it's going to hit her in the pocketbook! The fact of the matter is though that winning the damn national Spelling Bee is a non-event. For Christ's sake, it can't even be parlayed into anything. At least a few kids who have won the Little League World Series actually went on to play Major League Baseball. There is no Major League Spelling League in case you weren't sure. Furthermore, spelling is less and less a factor in our society with the onset of Spell-check and word processing. How about we spend just a little bit of time teaching these nerds some communications skills so they won't be such introverts when in the company of others? Perhaps parents could invest in a few lessons on looking people in the eye, walking with your shoulders back and not discussing such fascinating subjects as the Square root of 676? (The answer is 26, by the way). God forbid we publicly acknowledge that something a bunch of children want to do is stupid. We must coddle and encourage our children, no matter how dopey the activity is. More than that, we must now go the extra mile to not only encourage this absurdity, but also try to force it down America's throat and legitimize it as meaningful. News flash: It isn't. Spelling and grammar skills matter, no doubt, but excelling at one or the other will ultimately help you amount to…well, nothing, except maybe someone who can spell "welfare" out-loud while in line waiting for your check. Think of it this way; If a young man can't speak well, doesn't spell or write very eloquently and has poor social skills but can make 14 foot jump shot after 14 foot jump shot, he still has a shot at not just succeeding, but excelling in life. It's far from ideal, but he can at least parlay his skills into a basketball career that reaps him millions and provides him the opportunity to round out those other areas of his life. What will the Bee nerd do? A kid who has none of the aforementioned skills and substitutes spelling for the jump shots is really screwed. That's my point. Spelling well is just swell, but it's no ticket to success. In fact, in today's world, it's no more important than winning your town's juggling championship, which certainly won't be televised on ESPN. Which brings us to the final point. I have been able to handle all sorts of non-sports being shown on my sports channels. Tennis, swimming, women's sports were all tolerable though not wanted. I blew my stack over poker, which is far from a sport, and the Spelling Bee continues the trend. Idiotic. Put this garbage on the Poop network, or Lifetime for the love of Christ. Saying something is a sport doesn't make it true. Saying something matters doesn't make it so. All these things do is delude our children into thinking they're accomplishing something, when they aren't. At some point they are going to come crashing down to the g-r-o-u-n-d.
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