June 13th, 2004
NICK AND JESSICA; POPULAR AND PATHETIC
The dopey MTV reality show "The Newlyweds," returns with new episodes this week. As a result, the cable channel has been bombarding us with re-runs of the past two seasons recently and I have been the victim of a few cumulative hours of this show. I've watched it before, but when you watch episode after episode, you really get a chance to bury yourself in these two. As a result, I have come to a realization; I love this show*because I absolutely hate the two people on it.
I would be concerned about myself, but I already live this type of freakish fascination on a regular basis. My wife and I enjoy nothing more than watching couples interact with one another poorly. God knows there is no shortage of bad relationships out there and we consider it a sport to sit back and bask in the misery of two people who are together and shouldn't be.
We live in a society where people get married because they think they should. It seems like no one takes it seriously, and it is apparent that no one wants to put in the time, effort, growth and hard work that it takes daily to make a marriage work. People put themselves first, rather than elevating their spouse to the level of equal partner. Others refuse to realize that marriage DOES and is supposed to change you. The idea is to make the changes positive for both parties involved. If you really aren't ready to cut back on hanging with the guys and spend time with the woman you love then don't*and by don't I mean don't get married in the first place.
Nowhere is the pitiful state of the American marriage more on display than the Nick and Jessica debacle on MTV. This is the all-American marriage in every sense of the word. The show embodies everything that is wrong with us as a people, as individuals and as couples. No big surprise either; it's a huge hit!
In Nick and Jessica, we have two miserable people who have come together to form a perfect union of miserable-ness. The simple formula is true; unless you're happy with yourself, you'll never make someone else happy. Nick is incredibly jealous of Jessica's career successes. Rather than cheering her on, he wonders why he is fledgling, which glaringly says more about the real root of the problem; he doesn't respect her, and he doesn't believe in himself.
Meanwhile, Jessica couldn't care less about him or his happiness. When Nick asks her if his shirt looks good she responds by saying "I never ask you about my outfits."
Jessica doesn't respect him, either. No matter how many times they talk about money, she never changes her behavior, despite agreeing to. In episode after episode, she promises him something and never delivers. One of my favorites was when she spent $136 on groceries to cook him dinner and then didn't because she ran late from her manicure/pedicure. As my wife screamed at the TV, "then leave your appointment, bitch - you made a promise to your husband!"
Those words would fall on deaf ears; however, because these are two of the most self-centered elitists I have ever seen. Jessica talks about going grocery shopping so "she can feel like a normal person." Nick ridicules her in front of his and her friends to make himself feel like a big man. Jessica hires a personal hairdresser to fix her up for an evening out. The list goes on and on.
None of this even addresses her overwhelming stupidity. Which, by the way, is not an act. I am so tired of all these whacked out women-libbers who are trying to protect the image of womankind by trying to claim that Jessica is actually really smart and just plays up her blonde-ness. The girl is dumb, and we all need to accept. Starting with Nick, who is so painfully embarrassed by his wife's lack of intelligence that he constantly makes an ass of himself by reacting in a most vile way.
The truth is that these two suck. They suck as people and they suck more as a couple. They are everything a marriage shouldn't be. They so very clearly don't care about each other that is so sad it's funny. I can't wait for the new season.
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