Monday, March 2nd, 2009
AN INSIDE LOOK AT THE RADIO INDUSTRY'S STUPIDITY
I confess that some will view this column as petty and defensive; so be it. Certain things grind me up inside to the level that I need to vent them out and the subject that follows has been playing ping pong with my intellect for days.
The subject is the perfect storm really; I loathe lying, I can’t stand people who are overly concerned about their image, and I have a passion for what I do professionally that brings with it a level of understanding and loyalty to the industry that is hard to match. Long time listeners know, for instance, that one of my biggest pet peeves is people who try to tell me about the radio industry; the place I’ve called my professional home for 20 years and a trade I’ve studied for more than 30 years. (One famous moment occurred 12 years ago in Reno when some ass called the show to tell me about our transmitter’s “translator” not working correctly (a translator is a piece of transmission equipment that can be utilized to deliver a station’s signal); he was adamant about it and tried to sound oh-so-intelligent. One problem; our Reno station doesn’t broadcast on a translator, dumbass).
The recent cancellation (AKA firing) of the miserable failure of a radio show, the Adam Corolla show, has brought to the fore all of the things I hate most about the radio industry. Make no mistake about it; the business is filled with society’s rejects. I discovered that immediately upon entering the field in 1989. Almost everyone in radio wishes they were doing something else. The sales people want to sell cars or real estate but aren’t talented enough. The Managers wish they were in charge of brokerage firms, television stations or museums but none of them are smart enough. The on-air talent have all been to prison, should be in prison, or can’t spell prison. Honest to God, a more derelict collection of despicable humans cannot be found in any one industry anywhere else in America. It’s as though God swooped down upon the Appalachia Mountains and handed out microphones and washable suits from J.C. Penney, telling everyone to go “play radio.”
Alas, I accepted the gremlins that I call my peers long ago. Their failings make my success easier and all the sweeter as I watch the endless parade of losers who have the audacity to question my team’s over-the-top work ethic in an industry that demands so little. This conversation usually occurs right about the time that same loser is the latest in a long line of lazy talentless scumbags to be fired from his 9th radio station in 6 months. (And of course, he can’t for the life of him figure out why).
After three long, painful, embarrassing years, CBS radio finally put the world out of its misery by giving Adam Corolla the Barbaro treatment. Thank God. If ever there was a question about the lack of vision and courage in this profession, three years of watching one man destroy an entire Los Angeles radio station and deliver no measureable success on any level anywhere should have solidified it.
Understand, before I continue, that whether or not you “liked” his show is an irrelevancy. We’re not discussing subjective opinion; we’re discussing facts and evidence. I never once heard the man’s show, I am a little busy between the hours of 5-10am on weekdays so I speak not of my personal conclusions of the quality of the Adam Corolla failure; rather I am analyzing and bringing to you all of the worst parts about the radio industry which were wrapped up into this one example.
The lying, the almost clinically sick self-delusion, and the total fabrications of truth as related to what it is that makes radio work were just over the top when it came to the termination of the Adam Corolla show.
“Adam Carolla's popular morning radio show, Adam Carolla with Teresa Strasser, has been canceled.” Was the lead sentence in an online business magazine. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1493754/adam_carolla_radio_show_canceled_last.html?cat=3
“Adam Carolla is out of a job. The radio talk show host is getting laid off due to the economic crisis. CBS radio owns the station which is getting rid of all of its talk show hosts to save cash,” wrote a Las Vegas
TV station on their website. http://www.ktnv.com/Global/story.asp?S=9879233
And the coup de gras, which comes from KCRA in Sacramento:
“A syndicated morning talk show that's popular in Sacramento (had) its last broadcast Friday. KWOD said Sacramento was one of Carolla's strongest markets.” http://www.kcra.com/news/18755063/detail.html
High praise indeed; Sacramento was one of Corolla’s strongest markets? Let me see here, if a baseball team loses every game by 10 runs but plays one night to a loss by nine, does the manager then get to say “this was one of our stronger nights?”
This is the mind-numbingly, unacceptably false shit that really frosts me. Corolla made similar claims on his show after it was announced that his show was terminated. He tried to claim that it wasn’t because of ratings; it was “the economy.”
Can we please just have a moment of common sense here? No one is denying that the current economic downturn is costing people jobs. In some industries, successful, higher paid people are in fact feeling the pinch of the recession. In Radio, however, just as in all entertainment fields such as television, no one who is successful ever gets terminated. Johnny Carson hosted the Tonight Show through two devastating recessions and made more money than anyone else on television during those times; do you ever recall NBC announcing that due to the tough economic times they were going to have to let Johnny go? Of course not, because if NBC had done that Carson would have been hired in less than 1 second by CBS or ABC to promptly destroy NBC in competition via his excellent ratings.
Adam Corolla had no ratings. He was an abject failure and claiming otherwise is disingenuous. In Sacramento, he one time, two years ago, ranked second in the demographic of 18-34 year old men. He was second to the Rob, Arnie and Dawn show which had 150% more listeners than he did. Meanwhile, the Rob, Arnie and Dawn show was #1 for all people of all sexes for all ages 18-54 just like we almost always are. Corolla never saw any success in any demographic or rating outside of 18-34 year old men, and even there he was never better than adequate.
And remember, Sacramento was one of his “strongest markets.” Ouch; sorry about that, Los Angeles.
No one understands the game better than I do. In radio, most stations and shows are stuck appealing to niche audiences; so they create a “target” listener and go after them, hoping to, for example, garner as many men between the age of 18-34 as possible. If they succeed, they then target advertisers that appeal to mostly 18-34 year old men; bail bondsmen, condom manufacturers, beer makers, strip clubs, etc.
I always had a different view of radio; why not create stations or shows that appeal to the greatest number of all people? No one show or station can be all things to all people, but if you can appeal to the largest amount of people as possible, you’ll win the ratings battle in all or most of the niches. Alas, I have only been proven right by our results.
Regardless, there is no need to continue the charade now that Corolla is gone. It was one thing to make the claims that he was “moving up the ratings ladder,” while he was on the air and going from 0% listeners to 5%. It’s another thing to maintain the lie now that it’s over. Admit it; the experiment was a failure. Say it, acknowledge it and move past it. I don’t need KCRA in Sacramento or KOLO in Reno to announce in their stories that our show is the dominant ratings force in their respective cities, I just need them to not lie about the supposed popularity of the now defunct Corolla show. Popular shows don’t get terminated. Popular shows are not only not let go for economic reasons, it is the popular shows that carry stations through tough economic times. Now if you’ll excuse me, my team and I have an entire building filled with radio stations that we need to hoist upon our shoulders and carry. |
