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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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November 20th, 2006 THE CASE FOR "SCHMENKDAY" More than a decade ago, I began espousing the creation of Schmenkday, an 8th day of each week, which would allow those who wanted it to have a three-day weekend almost every single weekend of the year. The name is irrelevant. I was put on the spot as I theorized the need for and workings of a permanent three day weekend and I spit out the word "Schmenkday." I don't care what it's called, I just want it enacted; and it seems as though more and more Americans agree with me. A new survey reveals that the nation is short on time in all aspects of their lives and the one thing they want more than anything would be three day weekends. http://www.azcentral.com/business/articles/1109biz-talker-ON.html As we all enjoy Thanksgiving week, which culminates with a four day weekend for most of us, or at the very least, 3 of 4 days off with a half-assed workday on Friday, now seems like the perfect time to vigorously defend the creation of "Schmenkday." For starters, the current two day weekend is far too short. Americans work longer hours and live farther from work than ever before. The average suburbanite doesn't even get home to start his or her weekend until after 6pm on Friday, and must leave to begin the new week by 6am Monday morning; that's 60 total hours off. 24 of those hours are spent sleeping, leaving just 36 hours, just a day and a half, to relax, complete chores, be with friends and family and get drunk. Much of this, I believe, explains the common phenomenon of "Sunday Night Anxiety," something I have always called the "Sunday Night Blues." It's that impending feeling of doom brought on by the necessity and resentment that comes with having to begin another work week before we're each ready to. (read about "Sunday night anxiety," here: http://www.nbc30.com/health/10137688/detail.html) I have found that "Sunday Night Blues," don't exist when the weekend is 3 days. Most of us, after 3 days off, are ready, in some cases even eager, to get back to work. It's amazing the difference a day makes. To help eliminate the stigma associated with Sunday, we'll add "Schmenkday" to the end of the weekend, turning Sunday into the middle night. This will also make Sunday football parties more raucous and free spirited because most people won't have to go to work the next day, Schmenkday. For those amongst us who don't want a third day off on the weekend, there will be plenty of jobs available. Remember, Schmenkday is just an 8th day of each week, not a weekly national holiday. The nation must still work, thus not only insuring the survival of the economy but in my theory, spurring an additional thriving of the economy. Think about it; a third weekend day will cause more people to shop, dine out, travel, see movies, and consume while still more people will be working and making additional funds. It's a perfectly designed capitalistic idea which will also allow those of us still working 5 day weeks to be more refreshed, rejuvenated and productive when we do work. There is no downside. Oh sure, there will be calendar anomolies but we already deal with those in Leap Years. Some people will be born on September 33rd who won't be able to celebrate on the 33rd each year because it won't always exist. Who cares? This has been the curse of being born on February 29th for decades. Deal with it for the good of the country. To make things as easy as possible, we will add 48 days to each calendar year. We don't need a Schmenkday added to Memorial, Labor, President's and Thanksgiving weekends and the addition of 48 days makes it mathematically easier to simply add 4 days to each calendar month. This will also insure that each year will always have 413 days, thus allowing the creation of a new creed, 24/7/413. Cool, huh? All of the details and objections to a permanent three day weekend have answers: *** "We won't be in tune with the rest of the world?" Who cares? America sets the agenda, it doesn't follow it. *** "The creation of an 8th day won't actually create jobs, it will just force the working of America to work more overtime." Not true. Part of the brilliance of my idea is that no currently existing laws governing fatigue, sweatshop conditions or overtime will be changed, thus protecting the current labor force while creating new opportunities for part-time work for those who want it.
The list goes on and on and I am sure plenty of you maggots will send me e-mails explaining what I screwed up here, but trust me, I have the answers (Don't believe me? Email me and see for yourself).
I can't wait for the calendar that has the first "Schmenkday."
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