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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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Monday, June 16th, 2008 A SELFISH SOAPBOX This week’s column is going to be all about me. Not my views or opinions or even my beliefs, but rather, just me. I suppose that those of you who like a “behind the scenes” look at the lives of people you listen to everyday may enjoy what follows. Many people will probably miss the point, though, and that’s fine by me this week. This past weekend, a guy by the name of Tim Russert suffered a massive heart attack while at work in the NBC studios and died at the age of 58. I refer to him as “a guy,” because although he was known, respected, watched and loved by millions of Americans, he is also barely known at all too many more. Some people probably would know his face if they saw it and may even remark “hey, that’s that guy who always talks politics.” Russert hosted NBC’s Sunday morning talk show “Meet the Press,” and was the Vice President of NBC News for more than 20 years. He was a political genius, an affable host, an insightful commentator and a tireless preparer and worker. As an observer of news and politics I always enjoyed and respected his work and believe him to be one of the finest, most influential journalists in our nation’s history. It is my belief that Russert’s lack of selfishness killed him. We constantly hear that the good die young. This is because people define “good,” as those who are selfless, compassionate, caring, giving and reliable. Too many of those traits also define you as a wallflower, pushover, sucker and chump. As with everything in life, balance and moderation remain key. Russert, we’re told, was a hard worker, great mentor, devoted family man and constant philanthropist. Everyone who ever asked for his time got it, and no one ever felt rushed or hurried by him. He spent much of his free time with his family and had a legendary relationship with his own father and his only son, who just graduated from college. It would be unfair to describe him as a workaholic, despite the fact that he took less than a month off per year (an exorbitantly small amount of vacation time for a media figure) and would cut short family vacations just so that he could be on the air each Sunday morning. While he was committed to his craft, he was also passionately insistent that he spend time with his wife, son and father. He was also a huge sports fan. From the outside, Russert appeared to be well balanced and perhaps perfectly moderated. Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, told a story about what a great guy Russert was this past weekend while eulogizing him on MSNBC. Welch recently was holding a charity dinner and had asked Russert to be the guest speaker, to which Russert had agreed without hesitation. It turned out that on that day, Russert awoke at 6am, drove a truck 12 hours to his son (so that his son could pack the truck up and move out of his college home), gave his charitable speech that evening and then got on a plane home that night so that he could attend a 7am meeting the next morning at work. Welch surmised that this story perfectly captured in one day, the life of Russert; family, charity, career. What a guy. No thanks. I will die happily at whatever age it may be, without such accolades. I am certain that my friends and loved ones will spend little to no time referring to my “compassion,” or my “tireless efforts at giving my time to others.” Few people will revere me for my love of family, and no one will ever claim I was a “people person.” I wonder if Tim Russert ever did anything just for him. Don’t give me that crap either about how his career and his family were what he loved. I am more passionately in love with my career than almost anyone else I know and my devotion to my wife is beyond description and yet I get tired of both of them occasionally. The difference between most people and me is I don’t feel guilt as a result of my feelings. When I grow tired of work, I leave my office, regardless of what is left to be done. If someone asks for my time and I don’t have it to give, I tell them so and set up a meeting for another time and place. If I am asked to attend functions I don’t want to attend, I decline. If I am invited to events with and for people I dislike, I don’t show. This is my life, and I come first. I am wholly, completely, and proudly selfish. Most people resent my approach to life which actually brings me great joy; one of the beauties of being so self sufficient is the ability to care very little about other people and their emotions. My approach has always been that if everyone was as selfish as I am, we’d all be a much happier and self-reliant culture. My typical day begins around 2:30 in the morning and sees me leave the radio station around 10:30. I arrive home to see my wife, play with my dogs and tend to my gorgeous home. Along the way, I work on my career via my home office and at 3:30ish every afternoon, regardless of whether it’s 110 degrees outside or freezing cold, I take a hot bath and for all intents and purposes, end my day. I spend my final 4 or 5 waking hours enjoying my wife, mindlessly watching TV, preparing dinner, playing with my pets and imbibing in a few of my favorite vices. I do all of this not because it’s a routine or because I don’t have other options, I do all of this because it is exactly what I want to do. There is no greater form of mental (and thus physical) health in my world than knowing that at any given moment, I am in control and choosing to do what it is that I am doing. Steve Martin once starred in a movie called the “Parent Trap,” in which he said frustratingly to his wife, “my whole life is have to.” Too many people feel like everything they do in life they do because they have to. Without fail, if I am invited out during the week, I decline. No thanks, I’d rather be with my pets and wife in my beautiful home. Most people resent that (or envy it, I am not sure) and that’s their problem. If I attend a party or a function on a weekend or during a vacation, I do so because I want to, not because I am obligated. Many times throughout my life I have found myself amongst a group of people and have been the lone voice of dissent. Too often I will see people to agree to things that the rest of a group wants to do, even though they have no desire to do it themselves. Whether it be eating at a restaurant they dislike, or taking a trip somewhere they’d rather not be, people engage in activities everyday just so they will be liked or accepted. I choose to never apologize for who I am. Over the years I have known my share of compassionate, giving people and they have all shared one very specific quality; guilt. On varying levels, every single “giving” person I have ever known feels guilty about their own pleasure. Sometimes it’s as simple as watching them feel badly that they are shooting a better round of golf than one of their friends. Other times, it’s as extreme as seeing them wonder why they have some of the riches life has to offer and watching them loathe themselves into a mindset that they don’t “deserve” what they’ve worked so hard to achieve. In my life, I have some amazingly compassionate, reliable, giving people. I love all of them dearly but I often question their motivation and pity their outlook. Too many people in this world are so worried about other peoples’ feelings and opinions that they never stop to concentrate and focus on their own. In some cases, people decide that their wants, needs, desires and feelings come last. While such views reap benefits for many of us as individuals and the society as a whole, they also create a tremendous vacuum in the soul of the person giving too much of themselves. Tim Russert was a devout Catholic, a religion known for its innate ability to make its followers hate themselves. Whether or not the two are related in this case is unknowable. What is obvious, however, is that Russert was loved at the highest level by people that knew him. What is further obvious to me is that if he would have loved himself as much, he’d still be alive today.----- |
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