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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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January 16th, 2007 SPACE RAPE; THE GROWING CRIME OF 2007 Last week, I wrote you of the criminal epidemic that is already victimizing millions of us daily; verbal rape. This week, I bring you a look at the next level of this problem. People always demand the slippery slope side of things by asking either naively, "What's the harm," or demandingly, "where will this lead?" I will answer both silly questions with this week's column by laying out the next step beyond verbal rape: Space rape. First, I must begin the same way I did last week, with a disclaimer: Since I write this in America, circa 2007, I have to first disclaim myself into oblivion to appease all of the politically correct amongst us; so here goes: Rape, as commonly and rightfully defined is a horrific crime akin to, if not worse than, murder. It robs its victims of their lives and happiness sometimes forever. It also is a crime that has nothing to do with sex, but rather has to do with issues ranging from personal power to insecurity to brutality. The word rape, however, does not just have to apply to the horrific sexual crime prevalent amongst our streets. It can also apply to the pillaging of land, as the 4th definition of "dictionary.com" alludes to when it defines the word "rape" in the following manner: 4. An act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: the rape of the countryside. 8. To seize, take, or carry off by force. Alluding to the above definition, for example, I will now discuss the space rapes that occur ad nauseam whenever anyone is out in public these days. Every day, more and more of us have our personal space seized on and taken from us by total strangers. There seem to be two prominent areas where space rape occurs, call it the "ghetto" of society, similar to seedy areas you wouldn't walk alone in at night. The problem with the two common places where space rape happens is that, unlike an actual ghetto, these places are practically unavoidable; they are the road and the store. Along the way, I have identified what I believe are the most common forms of space rapists. Think of this column as the post office and these are the wanted posters:
ON THE ROAD... THE LANE BLOCKER: Whether motivated by trying to be a vigilante or obliviousness, it matters not. Lane blockers are the epitome of space rape because they rob you of the ability to best use your time and space. They show no regard for you or your life, they only care about themselves. The most commonly annoying lane blocker is the jerk-face who goes 55mph in the fast lane of the freeway with nothing but smooth sailing in front of him, but he refuses to get over and allow you to pass. Many times the jerk face is simply not paying attention to what's going on behind him, and other times he has that "Good Citizen Kane" attitude that he is going the speed limit and there's no reason to go faster. Either way, he is raping you and your space. When people ask why I am in "such a hurry," I tell them that I don't lead a boring and pathetic life like most people and I actually WANT to get where I am going. As long as I do so safely and without harming others, it's nobody's job but the police's to judge how I am getting there.
PARKING LOT RAPISTS: Parking lots have become a breeding ground for space rapists. The most common occurrence is the self centered ass who believes that he can simply stop his vehicle in front of the store (while in a lane of moving traffic mind you) so that he can let his passengers out while the rest of us behind him stop our vehicles and wait. This used to only happen in rainstorms, now it happens all the time because we have become so fat and lazy that walking all the way from the parking lot to the store is unfathomable. Other parking lot crimes include similar situations in strip malls where people will block empty parking spaces, idling their cars perpendicular to the spot, while dropping some moron passenger off and blocking the rest of us from parking in the open space.
IN THE STORE... AISLE BLOCKERS: Similar to both examples on the road, the store aisle blocker is a very common space rapist. Usually the crime is committed with a shopping cart which is placed conveniently RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE so that no one can enter the lane. Many times, the owner of the cart isn't even standing there with it. Other space rapists who block aisles include couples that stand shoulder to shoulder talking while not making way for traffic and people who stand across from the shelf they are looking at, thus forcing you to cut off their line of vision in order to pass through.
LINE JUMPERS: I blame the DMV for these rapists. If you've ever dealt with the motor vehicle department, you know that occasionally you will have to leave, obtain something, and return to the DMV office. Often, they will issue you a pass to jump to the front of any given line so that you can avoid having to wait your turn for a second time. Apparently, this policy has become accepted as normal for the rapists in our society who feel they are entitled to walk up to the check out counter while I am being "rung-up" and strike up a conversation with the clerk about something that customer had purchased earlier. Never mind me and my time, clearly that 25 cents you didn't get taken off your canned tomatoes is far more important than me, dick-nose. The clerk, by the way, is an accessory to the rape in this example and should tell the rapist to either wait his turn, go to a customer service booth, or put his head into an oven, his choice.
Lately, I have found that there is no line any longer. I have had people sidle up literally next to me before I have even paid for my purchase. I have been bumped with purses and carts by the customer behind me who has no where to go but feels as though they can violate my space. It's unimaginable how rude people have become and how little they care about it. If ever I discover that I have been accidentally rude to someone, I fall all over myself apologizing to the poor person I victimized. People today have zero self respect and simply don't care if they inconvenience others, in fact, they seem proud and indignant about it. This has led us to space rape. It will continue and get worse, in fact, as long as we allow our inconsiderate society to continue behaving in such a pathetic manner. After space rape, what's next? I am not sure… but I have a feeling it will make me sore.
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