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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
October 12, 2003
Why Parents Are So Stupid
This column is a preview of an upcoming on-air rant. I can only hold this in so much longer, so trust me; I will be bursting on the show pretty soon. To all of you fools who say that people can't comment on raising kids unless they have children, you will especially enjoy this.
Mark my words. If my wife and I ever have children, regardless of how much I love them, there is absolutely, positively, NO way on God's green Earth that I will EVER write some stupid congratulatory message about my kid's sports team on my vehicle's window.
Have you seen this abomination? What the Hell is wrong with these people? Stop writing on your cars immediately. I don't care what you're using to actually scribe the message with; a car is not a Goddamn rolling billboard for your daughter's soccer team. No one gives a shit that the "Rocklin Hurricanes are No. 1!" I will not "Honk if you love the Elk Grove Lions," and I certainly do not care about each team members' first name on the Citrus Heights' Wolverines.
I realize that this society is overly obsessed with our children. I fully understand that we have created an obsessively unhealthy preoccupation with our children in this culture, but this really has gone too far.
Your child may have to be the center of your world, but he doesn't have be the center of mine. Take your stupid messages off of your mini-vans. While you're at it, take a moment to think about all of the horrific messages that you're sending your child about respect for personal property while you're shining way too much of the spotlight on him. Jesus, it's no wonder today's kids have absolutely no sense of value anymore. We teach them that when you work had for something, you should graffiti it with worthless messages about meaningless childhood sporting events.
Go ahead; call me a grumpy child-hating sourpuss. I'm right and you're wrong. Tell your stupid kids to spray paint a message about their sports team on their bikes. Or their bedroom walls…see how that goes over, Mr. Mom.
I've had it with this country's disgusting need to smother our children. Poor bastards don't stand a chance.
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