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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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February 5th, 2007 MY LIST OF THE WORST LISTS EVER We are a culture obsessed with lists. Every year we get the parade of best and worst movies, concert tours and searched for items lists. Additionally, we create new lists for debate and discussion such as "greatest American ever," "Greatest athlete of the century," and even "greatest fictional character," lists. I have no problem with lists, per se. In fact, many lists have led me to some fantastic discussions and arguments both on and off the air through the years. Lists are fine, but like people, many lists suck and many are overrated. In evaluating some of the more popular lists of our time, I realized that a lot of the original lists are still acclaimed and heralded as some of the greatest; not just as standard bearers but as actual works of genius, to which, I disagree. This led me to realize that it's time for someone (and why not me) to produce a list of the worst lists of all time:
Secondly, there are too many redundancies in the commandments. The first two are the same thing, for God's sake, literally. First you're told to have no other God, and then you're told not to make idols (other than God). Ok, ok, we got it, you weren't hugged enough as a baby god…get over it, please. Commandments 7 & 10 (do not commit adultery and do not covet) are essentially the same thing. It's as though God (or whoever came up with these things) realized that simply ordering people not to cheat on their spouses wasn't enough so he came up with do not covet thy neighbor's house, livestock or anything else…and then he forgot to go back and re-write or delete #7. I wonder, by the way, what he would've replaced it with? There are also some things in the commandments that are just plain naïve and silly. Commandments 5&6 order us to honor our parents and to not kill. Referring first to the latter, no one, anywhere, ever, has been more responsible for death than God. Additionally, death and murder are necessary when used on behalf of justice. Had we not killed in World War II, we would have lost. God left that part out. As for your parents, give me a break. Just because someone gives birth, that doesn't make them worthy of your honor. There are so many things wrong with this blanket statement it should just be thrown out. As I await the lightning bolt to hit me, I will close with this positive thought; there are some good things about the 10 commandments, specifically 8 &9; it's as though God had caught his second wind when he got to these two. "Do not steal," is just a solid, as it's really hard to argue with insisting that people earn what they gather. As for commandment 9, "do not falsely accuse," this is perhaps his most prescient point of all; and one that too many of us throw out the window in favor of our own ignorance and bias (think: the Duke lacrosse rape fiasco).
7 DEADLY SINS: I have two fundamental problems with this list. My first real annoyance stems from the ignorance of mankind. The 7 deadly sins are not in the bible, nor are they even biblical, per se. A pope in the early 17th century wrote them down and they became gospel. They have as much bearing and legitimacy as the Dead Sea scrolls and Nostradamus' un-ending lists of shots-in-the-dark. Secondly, many of the so-called "sins" are simply condemnations of success. Clearly a socialist created this dopey list, insisting that we all consume the same, feel the same and think the same, Thanks, comrade, but I will happily go forward with an abundance of pride, greed, gluttony, lust and a little sloth. You can keep your envy and anger, you're going to need them.
MR. BLACKWELL'S WORST DRESSED LIST: For 47 years some flamboyant jerk with no first name has announced the celebrities he believes to be the worst dressed of the year. Like a bunch of retarded lemmings, we follow him off the cliff every year and make the issue of People Magazine featuring his picks one of the best selling annually. All of this leads to the same question I have had all of my life; who the fuck is Mr. Blackwell and why do I care what he thinks?
THE SEVEN NATURAL WONDERS OF THE WORLD: Since there have been 937 different "wonders of the world" lists I must be clear; I am not talking about the ancient wonders or the modern wonders, for they were all, basically man made super-structures, ranging from the Pyramids to the Golden Gate Bridge. I am talking here, specifically about the Natural wonders of the world list, which documents such places as the Grand Canyon, Mount Everest and the Great Barrier Reef. In the case of the natural wonders list, we see true human arrogance and ignorance on display as we try to identify parts of nature that seem, to us, to be unexplainable and therefore amazing. Hello! That describes all of Earth, the galaxy, the universe and creation you jerks. A true "natural wonders" list would be as follows: 1. All of existence and creation End of list, thank you for reading.
ALL OF THE OTHER WONDER LISTS: All of these "wonders" lists are asinine. I've already covered the arrogance displayed in the "natural" lists, which brings us to the modern and ancient lists. There is no "wonder" about them; they were built by men. End of story, no wonder needed. How narcissistic can we get in this society that we need to make a list of how great we are? Whoop de doo for us…we figured out how to span water and touch the sky; that's what we're supposed to do! There's nothing wonderful about it. Act like you've been there, for the love of pride.
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