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| Rob's Soapbox | ||
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Congratulations!
You have finally landed on the one page on this entire site (and on the entire internet for that matter) that is purely without bullshit... my soapbox page. There are a lot of times during our show that, whether it's because of time constraints and other obligations, I don't always get to address some issues that I feel don't get the attention they deserve. There are even more times when I just don't feel like waiting until the show the next day to get some things off my chest. Thus, I have started the "Rob's Soapbox" page. If you have clicked on this page looking for someone to coddle your fragile sense of self-esteem, or tell you what you want to hear or to reinforce your outdated world view, then exit this page right now and go somewhere else. If you are in search of the last forum for reason and common sense left in the world, then sit back, relax, and enjoy. I make only one promise with this soapbox page... if you read long enough and often enough, you will eventually be offended. So here's my latest soapbox. Listen up, 'cause you just might learn something... |
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December 10th, 2007 CHRISTMAS IS NOT FOR THE CHILDREN My wife Janell and I spent the majority of the first weekend of December decorating our house and transforming it into the winter wonderland that we call home during Christmas. As Janell dealt with erecting Christmas villages, stringing garland, unpacking boxes and other projects inside, I was busy stringing lights and outdoor decorations throughout our backyard, all the while listening to and enjoying our favorite Christmas music. (A quick note to avoid your stupid question; we decorate the back yard as opposed to the front yard because we can see our backyard from anywhere in the house, whereas the front of the house is virtually invisible to us when we are inside…we decorate for ourselves, not so our neighbors can get their holiday jollies…badoop). Of the more than 100 different songs performed by more than 35 different artists that make up our holiday music collection, one song captured my attention in particular; written and originally recorded by Barry Manilow, there is a song entitled “Because it’s Christmas,” best known for its lyrics espousing that the holiday is “for the children.” Here are a few stanzas from the song: Tonight belongs to all the children As I sang along with the lyrics and heard myself proclaiming that Christmas was for the children, I became annoyed and then saddened. I was reminded that Dawn had uttered a statement similar and equally as stupid during a recent show and I recalled the bile that filled my throat even then at the thought that Christmas was “for the god-damned children.” Don’t get me wrong; of course every parent in the world should do every thing he or she can to make Christmas a special, wonderful, fulfilling time for their kids. That fact, however, has nothing to do with the sheer ignorance, audacity, stupidity and pathetic nature of the notion that the most popular, most celebrated and most revered holiday in the world is somehow exclusively or even predominantly “for the children.” Propagating such an idea re-enforces the pathetic mindset and nature of our culture and our society. The good news is that the trend does seem to be changing, slowly. All indications are that people 35 and younger in America are tired of this country revolving around children. As a result, most of us are either not having kids, waiting longer to have kids and/or are having fewer kids, all good things. Additionally, the tide is also slowly turning as it relates to how the children in America are raised. We are starting to see the end to 9th place trophies, soccer games that end in ties, and the notion that no child should ever be told the word “no.” Also slowly disappearing are the notions of 25 year olds being allowed to live with their parents, new math (in which if a child says that 2 plus 2 equals 5 he is told that he’s correct for now), boys being elected homecoming queens, girls being allowed in boys football leagues, and so forth. Perhaps most importantly, the attitude in this country is slowly moving away from revering children as some sort of altruistic gift from God and more towards re-understanding that children must be raised and parented so that they don’t grow up to become adults that suck. On the down side, this will all take time and a few generations to truly and wholly occur. Until then, we are left with the lameness of the baby boom generation (the worst generation ever in the history of the world) and all of their crappy ideas about making love, not war, and believing that pot smoking is a sport. Thus, Christmas is for the children. Barf again. Christmas is not for the children. Christmas is for the world, the happy, Jesus (for some), for celebrating life, for being with those you love and just plain sheer enjoyment. Those of you that argue that those things are encompassed by turning your life over to your crappy children are the pathetic amongst us, because you have decided to define your life by whether or not your rat kid likes the latest “Rape Me Elmo,” doll, not whether or not your kid stays out of prison. Anyone who solely derives joy from the happiness of others is nothing more than a martyr, a lost soul, and a pariah. Guess what? Your stupid kids will someday grow up, leave you, hate you for your coddling and decide that you should die alone. You, meanwhile, will have no one left to live life vicariously through and will therefore either become some form of closet pedophile or will buy a puppy and begin ruining its’ life by trying to enjoy your existence through the poor dog’s eyes. Just spare us all and make yourself a D-con milkshake, will ya? Happy holidays.
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