Last Friday Rob read more of the details from the police report pertaining to the abuse Chris Brown laid upon Rhianna. It was beyond disgusting. Sadly it has been reported that Rhianna has taken Chris Brown back, after he apologized said it wouldn't happen again and he would seek help. That is the standard motto of an abuser. Unfortunately it is also common for the one who is being abused to believe her abuser.

You may ask "why would any woman stay with a man like that?" As crazy as it sounds, to them this is love. Somewhere along a woman's path this became normal, she was also taught somewhere along the line that it is her fault. So that is another reason she stays, if it's her fault than she can fix it. As far along as women have come, this is still an area we are behind. Rhianna is a prime example. Most think that an abused woman's abuser keeps the money away from her, keeps her friends away from her and doesn't let her have a career and that must be why she stays, no those are only the excuses she tells herself. And while that does represent a portion of abused women, there is the Rhianna portion. This portion has their own money, still has their friends and has a successful career. Both these types of women clearly remind us that it has nothing to do with money or lack of, It has to do with the power and control that these men have over them. Abused women give up their power and control because they truly believe to their core that they are nothing and worth nothing as a human being. They believe they are getting what they deserve and the abuser is only too happy to remind them of that.

If you are in an abusive relationship PLEASE take my word for it, you DON'T have to gain self esteem or self love before you can leave your abuser. You only need to dig deep and find the strength to do so. You know you have this strength because you have already thought many times how you would leave and you have already a million times felt like there has to be a better life out there. The self esteem and self love will come later during your healing process once you have left your abuser. TRUST ME, I have lived what you are going thru, I know this to be true. I understand that you may be at the point in the relationship where you really do believe he will change, sadly it is my opinion that he will hit you again, it may be 3 months from now or 6 months from now remember there is always a honeymoon period between beatings. And as time goes by the honeymoon period gets shorter and shorter. It's at this point that you realize he isn't going to change. Two things happen at this point, you either start making your plans to leave, or you allow yourself to accept this as your fate.

This 100 PERCENT is not your fate. No matter how down you are on yourself, no matter what emotional abuse has also been thrown your way, you DON'T DESERVE abuse. I know it's hard and at times may seem impossible, no matter how low you feel, no matter how trapped you feel you have the human spirit of survival inside of you, let it come out. If you have children that is where you can find your strength to leave for their sake so they don't grow up repeating the cycle of abuse.There is a lot of help out there, start with this number 1-800-799-SAFE, that's 1-800-799-7233, this is the National Domestic Hotline and there are caring advocates ready to help.